Real World
Coma-Inducing

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Coma-Inducing

Previously on The Real World: Lori was looking for a man. Everyone thought that the boys were kissing butt on the job. Okay, now they are not only including scenes that had never aired before in the "Previously" segments, they are introducing whole new themes. And why? It's not like they didn't have enough time, because this season's been so crowded with all of the other story lines. And yet, they want us to remember something that never happened, just to set up tonight's story line. Ugh. I hate this show.

The girls make some drinks in the blender and decorate the house with streamers. Nicole voice-overs that Quarrel decided to have Margarita Night in the house -- virgin margaritas. Yeah, sure. Lori wears a grass skirt, and they all wear fake plastic leis and have umbrellas in their drinks. Some other random girl is sitting on the couch next to Rachel, but apparently she's not important. In a confessional, Lori says that she wants romance.

I hope that the girls are playing "Death Is Not An Option" because Nicole busts out, "Adam or Devin?" In case you don't know whom they are talking about, we flash back to the Turtleneck Twins in the office. Quarrel picks Devin, because he's taller and manlier. Nicole says, "'Manlier'?" like five times and then cackles. Yeah, those are virgin margaritas, all right. Mike walks in and asks what they're up to. He says that he was leaving work, and Adam asked him to go to the Knicks game. Someone asks Mike where his girlfriend is, and Mike asks, "Which one?" According to Lori, Mike is "getting ass all the time." This episode just gets more and more depressing. Mike heads upstairs to bed. Quarrel yells that Mike is "tired from schmoozing," and Nicole adds that his "lips are a little chafed" -- from kissing ass, apparently. Mike voice-overs that the remark was "uncalled for."

Lori voice-overs that the girls are not jealous of the boys' relationship with the bosses, because the girls don't want to be suck-ups like the boys. Kevin brings Devin some muffins. In an interview, Lori says, "Being up a person's butt is not a relationship at all." There are so many meanings to that sentence that I'm just going to leave it alone and let you fill in your own joke. In a confessional, Mike says that they are just nice to people. The boys go to visit L.A. Reid's assistant, and flirt with her. She gives them autographed pictures of Pink and Outkast. Thanks? I have to say that I wouldn't even be that excited about an autographed picture of a band I actually like. What would you do with it? Frame it and hang it up? Where? I don't know. I just don't see the point. The boys are psyched.

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