The girls discuss their lack of dates. In an interview, Nicole says that when you're not dating, you read a lot of books about other people's romances. Nicole thinks they should make a pact to each go on a date by the end of April. Rachel adds that it can't be a friend from home. Lori agrees that it should be "a brand-new person that [they] have met [in New York]." The girls all agree and then look at each other for another five minutes, like, cut the scene already! God! And what's up with the super close-ups this week, too? I swear that I saw Rachel's brain in one shot because the camera was practically up her nose.
Lori and Quarrel walk down the street. Lori spots a security guard at Harry Winston Jewelers. She thinks he's cute. Quarrel dares Lori to talk to him. Lori doesn't want to. She finally walks up and introduces herself, and his name is Jerry. Lori says she's noticed him when she's walked by before; he claims that he's noticed her, too, and invites her to come back for a tour sometime. Okay, so either he wants to be on camera, or Harry Winston wants the free publicity. Let's be realistic. Jerry is super-cute though.
At work, Devin tells the boys that Run DMC are downstairs signing autographs. In an interview, Kevin says that he's been a fan of Run DMC ever since...oh, God. Please don't say "Walk This Way." Even if it's true, don't admit it. Please. But Kevin does say "Walk This Way." Devin asks where Mike is, and he's apparently on the pot. Devin is all giving Mike instructions while he's on the can, and Mike walks out with a magazine in his hand. I so did not need to know that Mike was taking a dump at work.
The guys set up all the Adidas sneakers that Run DMC will be signing, and then get their pictures taken with the band. Kevin voice-overs that Arista is being absolutely incredible to them. Yeah, look what happens when you show up for work once in a while. Devin walks in and gives the guys autographed Adidas sneakers.
Lori calls all the girls upstairs to see something in Mike's room. Mike has all of the Arista schwag hung up on the wall above his bed. In an interview, Rachel says, "Oh my Gaaaahd. Who has a shrine to Arista?" In an interview, Lori jokes about all the schwag he has, including the CDs of the artists they have promoted set up on his bedside table. Okay, that is pretty lame. Lori thinks that they need to "add to it in a really subtle way."
Lori decides to make a sign that says, "Arista Kiss-Ass and Proud." ["Wow, that is subtle!" -- Wing Chun] As she colors it in, she claims that she'll take all the credit, unless Rachel wants to share it. Rachel says that she wants all the credit. Rachel complains about how long it's taking to make the sign. Lori shows it off, and then goes to hang it up in Mike's room, commenting that she doesn't "want to touch this semen-soaked bed." Ew. EEEEEWWW! All of the girls watch Lori hang it up, and then they giggle and leave. This might be the lamest practical joke in Real World history.