Real World
Danny And The Deep Blue Zzzz

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | Grade It Now!
Bummed Out

Austin. Rain. Night. Oh, Jesus. Melinda cries in bed as Lacey and Rachel try to comfort her. Something tells me that Melinda finds herself crying in bed a lot...but probably usually while a guy gets dressed as fast and quietly as he can. Rachel and Lacey give Melinda meaningless advice about Danny being in a selfish place right now. Lacey's Flock of Seagulls hair and Robert Smith lipstick camera-talk that Mel is at her breaking point with Danny. Melinda bitches that, with the last guy, she promised her next guy wouldn't make her cry like this. Yikes. Melinda then camera-talks about how much she sucks. Well, not really, but it's more of the same and I don't feel like writing it down. She then gets sorta mad and bitches about how dare Danny write her that letter and then treat her like this. Danny just happens to be standing right there in his stupid felt hat and he butts in, telling her that he didn't dance, kiss, or come home with any other girl. He says that the letter wasn't bullshit, so Melinda bitches about the phone numbers. He tries to claim that the numbers are for Wes, and they go back and forth, and Danny says that another number is for Neh and he's just lying out of his ass now. He clearly knows that Mel is such a pushover that it doesn't even matter what he says. Finally, knowing he's busted, Danny pushes the angry card even farther and says, "Big waste of time this last fucking month." Then in lieu of having a door to slam, he angrily throws back the frilly white curtain and stalks off. Hee. Very tough. Commercials.

Night. Austin. Rain. Rain. Austin. Puddle. Austin. Warehouse. Drunk Danny bitches out and furiously washes all the ho numbers off his hand. We get a pointless flashback of the Smurf giving him her number outside the bar as Danny's fracture-stitches camera-talk about how maybe it was wrong to get that one girl's number, but that he did tell Mel that he needed to "branch out." Well, he had better put his branch back in his pants very quickly, or Melanie is going to keep her sap away from him forever. Or something. Danny stalks through the house ranting, turning it all around and yelling that Mel just wants to throw this away over something stupid, so obviously he was wrong about her. Melinda sits in bed listening, crying and picking her fingernails off one by one. Yikes. She makes Kim Basinger look balanced.

"I didn't do anything wrong," Danny whines to Lacey. "It's not even my numbah." Lacey -- because her biggest boy drama is finding a movie theatre with a ramp -- butts in and advises Danny's dumb felt hat, telling him that he scares Mel because she is totally in love with him and she reacts too quickly to shit he does. Lacey does Mel no favors whatsoever by painting a psycho picture of her, talking about how she cried every day while Danny was home burying his mom; Lacey adds that if Danny cares about Mel, he should "try." Danny puts his hand to his forehead, trying to hold his eyeball in his mangled head.

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Real World




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