Real World
Danny And The Deep Blue Zzzz

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | Grade It Now!
Bummed Out

Morning. Austin. Trash truck. The phone rings at the warehouse. Lacey answers, natch. It's a recorded call from the police station. Johanna comes on the line. (Dirty.) She whines that she just wants to come home. And instead of asking her anything about jail or trying to make her feel better, Lacey immediately launches into Mike Walker mode and gossips about Mel and Danny and the saga of the whore numbers on his hand. When Lacey stops talking for one fucking second, Johanna rightly asks, "And no one cares that I was in jail?!" Hee. Then Lacey tries to save herself by saying that she called Leo, making it all about herself in retelling the story, of course. Johanna says that she's going to cry and she's really touched that Leo wants to come rescue her and her Blade Runner hair. Lacey says some more stuff about her role in the situation until Johanna finally has had enough and has to go.

Night. Lake. Clouds. Day. Stop sign. "Deadman's Hole" street sign. WTF? Suddenly, we're back at the house, and Danny's dumb hat and broken face are talking to Melanie's silicone about last night and how much they both hate drama. Lies. Danny wonders why it's like high school with them, and Mel says it's because every week Danny says the same shit to her about needing space. Melanie camera-whores about Danny and Danny and whatever. She bitches on to him that he's the one who questions shit every week, which causes mistrust. She says she's just stuck there. She cries a little, and Danny comes back with nonsense like she needs to protect herself from him and he's not making any sense and then he touches her face and says he's not going to hurt her and then he camera-talks about how he doesn't want to be the one to make Melinda cry and then she apologizes to him and then they hug. And then I thank God I'm not twenty anymore.

Day. Austin. Courthouse. Johanna is released. She has to do community service and pay a fine. She walks out, and Leo picks her up. Johanna tells us that she thinks Leo does care about her. Cares about her = wants to get laid. Johanna comes back to the warehouse, and she and Leo go upstairs to the pool room, already drinking, and she disingenuously whines, wondering, "Why me?" She tells us that she took the flower in a "jokingly [sic] manner." She just keeps justifying and says that her roommates are always drunk and fighting people and why should she be the only one to get arrested? Well, sort of good point, and also: denial is a very sad thing to witness this close up. Leo starts to tell Johanna that when she gets drunk she's like a bomb waiting to explode. She jokingly wonders what she's supposed to do now: "Not drink? That's not going to happen." Yikes. She camera-lushes that she was only going to drink wine and ended up having two shots and look what happened. No, yeah, Johanna. We totally understand. You're the victim in all this. I can't believe you got in trouble for trying to roll a hobo either. Totally unfair. You should call the ACLU. Leo now tells Johanna that it's not the end of the world. Enabler. Johanna baby-talks to us that she doesn't want to go to jail again, ever, and then says that she's disappointed in herself.

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Real World




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