Real World
Doctor's Orders

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Kim: A | Grade It Now!
Doctor's Orders

SpongeKyle Squarehead voice-overs that Tonya isn't going on the trip, and will be separated from their "tight little pack." I've heard that Kyle likes a tight little pack. I don't know what that means, but it cracked me up for some reason. Kyle adds that Tonya is going to stay in Chicago with Justin, who has "ironically, suddenly shown up to be with her." Well, it's not all that ironic, except maybe in the Alanis sense. Kyle, Theo, and Aneesa are sitting around doodling and coloring with markers. What is that, kindergarten? What kind of job is that supposed to be, exactly? Meanwhile, instead of just going home, Tonya has to milk every last drop of drama out of the situation, so she curls up on the floor and "sleeps" next to a desk. Oh, spare me. ["Where have I seen that kind of thing before in a Real World bid for attention? Oh, riiiiiiiiiiiight." -- Wing Chun]

In an interview, Chris explains that part of their job is to go through New England and look at some haunted sites. Since when does New England have a monopoly on haunted sites? Keri looks at a website called "Spooky World." At least she's not coloring by number like Kyle. Chris says that he's looking forward to bringing his roommates to Boston, his hometown. I think I would like Chris a lot better if he were from Southie, like Drama David from Seattle. Chris tells the others that they are going to a '70s party at his friend George's house. Apparently, this George spells his name the regular way. Keri asks if they need '70s clothes, and Theo says that he's going to get "pimped out." Theo asks if there will be women at the party. Chris says that there will, but there will also be gay guys. Theo says that's fine with him.

Chris and Theo talk about Tonya outside. Chris says that as soon as he found out Tonya wasn't going on vacation, he figured that she was either going home, or Justin was coming to visit. Theo says that he knows that Tonya doesn't feel well, but that they have a job to do. Theo characterizes the situation as "shaky," which is an interesting variant of "shady."

In the van, Kyle starts singing a song composed of the phrase that Justin always uses when he leaves voice mail for Tonya: "This message is for Tonya. Hey, baby, it's Justin." Chris is driving and laughing so hard that I'm worried he might get in an accident. Keri and Aneesa join in the song. Kyle sings, "I cannot go to wooooooork! I can't go on the triiiiiiiip!" Keri starts singing, "Tonya Tonya Tonya Tonya," while Aneesa chimes in "Justin, Justin, Justin, Justin." Over it all, Kyle adds, "Kidney stones and kidney stones and not on the phone and not on the phone and Justin's coming, Justin's coming, I can't go and I can't go, Walla Walla kidney stones, got out of work, can't go on the trip." Aneesa switches to singing, "Stones, stones, stones, stones, blood, blood, blood, blood!" The whole thing builds à la "Bohemian Rhapsody" until it ends with all of them singing at the top of their lungs. Fucking hilarious. Mean, but hilarious. I wish that was the theme song for this season instead of that City High crap.

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Real World




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