Suddenly, the producers remember that some chick named "Pam" lives in the house too. She went to Harvard. She's in med school. She works hellish hours. She only sleeps three or four hours a night. That right there is enough to kill me. I was the type of child that would ask if it was naptime yet. In the kitchen, Dudd is cooking breakfast when Pam comes home from work, and she grosses him out a bit by telling him about her day. ["I would make a 'gross anatomy' joke about the fact that they end up going out after the show ends, but...oh, would you look at that." -- Sars]
Here's Puck to tell us that Pam "has made it." I'm getting really sick of the editing technique in which the producers introduce the next person's segment through some throwaway comment from the previous person.
Puck is on his way to his fifteen-week-long recovering drunk driver program. The program is called "The First Offender Program," and I almost choke on my own tongue because the last time Puck was a first offender was probably in utero. Puck says, "I'm not looking forward to it or nothin', but, you know, it's there and I'll probably learn something." That and the raspberry Puck gives the camera in an interview tells you everything you need to know about his attitude. Puck has an interview with his counselor person, and we get the particulars of his arrest. Puck had two beers and a shot of Jaeger, which gave him a blood alcohol content of .14. He insists that he "barely drunk." Um. The California DMV defines a "definite" DUI as .08 and a "likely" DUI as .05 to .07. Did I not get the memo when the word "barely" was redefined? Puck's counselor has the patience of a saint, because he doesn't even bat an eye when Puck tells him that he walked the line "on his hands," just to show off. When you feel the need to "show off" to law enforcement officials, I think it's time to admit that you have a problem.
So Puck is at a park when a dog comes running up to him. We see Puck pick up the dog and walk off. The cameras don't show him looking for the dog's owner at all, and I'm inclined to think that it's because he didn't. Puck tells us that he could tell the dog was hungry because he "looked at me and said, 'I am hungry.'" Y'all need any more proof that Puck is mentally ill? I get the feeling that he really did think the dog was talking to him. So Puck brings this random dog home. Puck and the dog bond, and Puck teaches her to stand on her hind legs and turn around to get a treat. Whatever. I taught my cat to do the same trick. Now that's impressive. To sum up: everyone loves the dog, including me, because I'm all for anything that takes screen time away from Dudd.