Real World

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | 620 USERS: C+
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Elton Rules!

Danny, Julie, and Danny's mom are at a restaurant called Mr. Gyro's. The whole point of this scene is to discover that Mrs. Danny knows that Paul is coming, but Mr. Danny does not. In an interview, Danny says that he has "a million scenarios" in his head, and he imagines that his dad will be really cold and indifferent to Paul. The other purpose of this scene is to set up tension between Paul and Mr. Danny. The actual dialogue really doesn't matter, does it?

The doorbell rings, and Danny's little brother answers the door. It's Paul, and these two apparently know each other, which is weird since it's the first time Paul is meeting the parents. Where are the parents? Weren't they all just at lunch? The chronology of this episode is so screwed up. I don't know why that surprises me. Paul runs upstairs, where Danny is in the bathroom. I hope he's in the shower, and not on the shitter, because Paul totally walks into the stall. I don't care how much you love someone, you really do not need to see them pinching a loaf. I'm guessing the shower idea was the right one, as Danny then walks into the bedroom wearing only a towel, and Paul follows. The bedroom curtain closes, and Danny asks Paul to "cuddle" with him before his parents get there. Hello! Your little brother is downstairs alone! Some people. Just then (or so we are made to think), Danny's parents walk in the door and his dad calls out. Oh, the suspense is killing me! What will happen when his parents bust them? I have to wait through commercials to find out.

Back from commercial, and Danny's parents walk into the kitchen to find Danny and Paul in there. What the? What a rip-off! I was promised Mr. Danny finding his son in bed with his lover! Damn you, Bunim-Murray! Damn you and everything you stand for! Danny introduces Paul to his dad, and Paul's all "sir" and "nice to meet you," but the "boyfriend" word is never mentioned. There's a lot of tense putting away of groceries. Danny's parents leave the room, and Paul says he's going to kill Danny. Wait, Danny didn't tell Paul that his parents were going to be there? This situation just gets increasingly strange. Danny says he "didn't realize it would overlap," when in fact, he totally did, as we saw earlier. Dad is outside, grilling. In an interview, Danny says that his dad knows what's up with him (i.e. he's gay), but he's not sure his dad understands "the dynamic between [him] and Paul." Danny and Paul leave to "go get some ice." Mr. Danny and Matt sit in matching rocking chairs, like two good old boys. I half expect them to start drinking some moonshine and reminiscing about the good old days, when we lynched the darkies. That's the vibe I get from both of them, anyway. In an interview, Matt says, "Paul's relationship with Danny is a homosexual act. Having homosexual feelings is not wrong, but when you give in to those temptations, it is wrong." Well, thank you, Dr. Laura. Matt is certainly entitled to his opinions, except that he's wrong. But I really would like to have a conversation with him. I went to a Catholic college, and I met a lot of people just like Matt, and had a lot of very interesting debates about theology and homosexuality. But that's unimportant. It's not a big surprise to anyone that Matt feels that way, is it? Paul and Danny are in the car, going to get ice. Paul says Danny's mom makes him feel "instantly at home." It's nice of Paul to refrain from saying, "And your dad makes me want to run for the hills before he gets his shotgun."

Real World

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