Real World
Elton Rules!

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
Elton Rules!

Julie tries to make the guests comfortable and asks if they have any questions. One of the guests asks what they are doing, because he has no idea, and they've kept him in the dark. Ha! Kick Jamie out and put that guy on the show! In an interview, Matt says that they have "New Orleans musical all-stars," but they have no idea who those people are. There's some chaos in the control room, with people trying to get cameras set up and no one really knowing what is going on. They count down to the opening credits, and we open on Melissa, who wishes us a good afternoon -- that is, good evening. Way to start the show with a bang. We see Melissa, Matt, Julie, and David sitting in as hosts. Kelley is in the control room with Danny, and I guess Jamie is running a camera. David really could have dressed up a little more for the show, as he is wearing big, baggy jeans and an untucked shirt. In an interview, David says that things are not going according to plan. There was a plan? Matt lamely asks the guests (whom we can't see, because they are off-camera) what instruments they play. In an interview, David says that the show is turning out to be a disaster. In an interview, Danny says that the four hosts were "sitting there like a bump on a log" because they didn't know what was going on, and that the show was "so bad it's funny." That is how I feel every Tuesday night, brother. So bad, it's funny. That should be engraved on my computer monitor. David asks the guests about their upbringing. Danny asks Jamie to get the host in the shot, since we can't see David while he is talking. In an interview, Melissa says, "Jamie's show sucks!" Stephanie (control room lady) tells Jamie to try to work in the other guests. In an interview, Kelley says that Elton was "panting behind [her] in the control room" and she was "waiting for a big blow-up." Stephanie begs anyone to get a shot with all of the hosts and guests in it, as Matt wraps up the show. Finally, Stephanie says, "We're out." Elton is so angry he can't even talk, but he manages to squeak out that he wants to see them "in the room." Ruh-roh.

Jamie walks into the conference room, where everyone else is already seated and looking all kinds of upset. Jamie is all grins, saying that it was a "good show!" Then he asks, "Are you pissed?" Hey, way to feel the "vibe" of the room before making an idiot out of yourself. Elton says tightly, "Jamie, sit down." In an interview, Kelley says, "Sit down and shut up because we're about to get a new butthole ripped on all of us." While I didn't need the visual on that, I'm really excited for this well-deserved dressing down. It's like Real World karma. This cast is going to get the tongue-lashing that all the other casts who have had "jobs" deserved. And I will try to transcribe as faithfully as possible, so you can all enjoy it too. Woo hoo! Elton says that the show was "embarrassing," and it was "as if [they] forgot everything [they] were taught." Then he makes fun of the "format sheet" they used, saying it looks as if it were thrown together in five minutes (because it totally was). He asks who was responsible for the show, and Jamie says he was. Elton asks, "What happened?"

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