Real World

Episode Report Card
Jessica: D | 253 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Enter Glen

Kevin doesn't take the bait, telling Beth that it's been "a very long time" since he's had "a significant other." Kevin is like the Ricky Martin of potential roommates, not letting anyone bully or trick him into talking about his sexual preferences. Go Kevin!

Kevin wonders who the roommates would eat first, if they were trapped in the house following a huge earthquake, and forced into cannibalism. I vote for Beth. Not because she looks tasty, but because she'd be quiet if she was dead. Oops, did I say that? The roommates look shell-shocked, but amused by the question. Aaron says he'd eat Dom first, because he's full of beer. Dude. Everyone bursts into hysterical laughter.

Dom gives Kevin the "don't call us, we'll call you" speech. Kevin leaves. Kevin is too cool for these yahoos.

Beth says Dom and Aaron were really thrown by Kevin. I didn't see that, but you know what a reliable source Beth is, so it must be true.

Jon says that Aaron kept trying to tell them whom they ought to pick. We haven't seen that, at all. But that means nothing.

Aaron tells the roommates that he liked Kevin, but that he has a good feeling about Ed. Jon snips that Aaron should stop trying to decide for them. Aaron flips. "I am not trying to decide for you. SHUT UP!" he yells. Dude, chill. Although, on Aaron's behalf, I really don't think he was trying to strong-arm anyone into anything. I think Jon is interpreting Aaron's giving his opinion as Aaron trying to tell him what to think. "Shut up, Jon!" Aaron snips, petulantly. "You're pissing me off. Stop twisting my words like that." Jon, ever witty, comes back with a strong "You shut up and stop telling me who to pick." Bro. Chill.

Potential Roommate #3: Glen. We all know Glen. Glen tells the roommates that he's a "bum." He works at a record store, he says, and he's having a hard time find a job in his desired field: film and video. Oh, my God. Let's see, who do I want as a roommate? A cute and easy-going track star, a sharp-witted guy who works with homeless children, or a pretentious slacker bum, with a pipe dream of finding a job in film and video (just like every other pretentious slacker bum in Los Angeles) and who also fronts what is possibly the worst band ever?

I loathe Glen. Just so you know.

Cue ear-splitting montage of Glen playing Eddie Vedder, except without the musical talent or charisma. And I don't even like Eddie Vedder. I have to mute the scenes of Glen "singing" with the band, or my ears will bleed. I'm not joking.

Real World

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