Real World
Erotic Non-Thriller

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Erotic Non-Thriller

Landon is busy wrapping up a water ski tow rope (huh?) when Shavonda calls him into her bedroom, where she is reading a book. I am so fascinated by the question of why Landon has a tow rope. Did they just go water skiing? And if so, why is he fully dressed, and dry? Shavonda wants to read to Landon from an erotica book. Shavonda interviews that she's a prude, and that reading these books help her to tap into her sexual self. I swear to God, that's what she said. If she weren't such a prude, she'd realize how dirty that sounds. Because of the tapping. Landon interviews that he's picking up "a little static on [his] radar" from Shavonda, and that he thinks she has a crush on him. No straight man talks about his radar. I'm just saying. Shavonda starts reading the story in the least sexual way possible. She sounds like she's reading from her first-grade primer. I guess that works on Landon, because he gets onto the bed and pretends to hump Shavonda, who acts all grossed out, as if that's not exactly the reaction she was hoping for. In a confessional, Landon says it's been too long since he had sex. Shavonda keeps reading, and Landon jokes around and pretends to be Austin Powers. Because that's sexy. In a confessional, Landon says he thinks that things are close to breaking down between them. Shavonda says she feels like she's not supposed to be reading that. Isn't that kind of the point? That makes it dirtier. Shavonda asks why Landon has the tow rope, but to my disappointment, he doesn't answer. Instead, he dives into his bed, frustrated.

Later, Shavonda is lying on the floor with MJ, and Landon walks over. Shavonda talks about how Landon was humping her. We get a nice close-up of MJ's hairy armpit. Sexy! This episode is so sexy with the tow ropes and the armpits. Shavonda thinks that Landon just wants to have sex, and that he doesn't care who his partner is. Shavonda interviews that Landon won't get any from her, and that she likes to see him squirm. That's just mean. Landon says that his stomach has been in knots since Shavonda read him those stories. He adds that this is the longest he's gone without sex in three or four years. Landon walks off, and Shavonda asks him what time it is. Landon yells that it's time to get laid. Shavonda tells MJ that Landon is going to jump on him some night. Now, why would the editors put that in there, if not to fuel the rumors about Landon's sexuality? Interesting.

Landon takes a shower while Shavonda sits in some sort of hammock chair (that actually looks pretty awesome) outside the stall. MJ comments that he can see Landon's "wang," and Shavonda tries not to look. Landon presses his junk right up against the frosted glass to make it more visible, and Shavonda shrieks. Melanie, who was standing in the doorway, starts giggling and says she didn't know what she was looking at. That doesn't bode well for Landon. Melanie interviews that Shavonda and Landon flirt a lot, but that there could be something going on under the surface. Landon and Shavonda chase each other around the house. Landon says that Shavonda is welcome in his bed, and Shavonda says that isn't going to happen. MJ yells that he gives it three weeks and Shavonda denies that it will ever happen.

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Real World

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