Real World
Every Girl's My Girlfriend

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Making The Band

Johanna voice-overs about SXSW and bands coming for exposure as we see shots of band registering and ugh. I've been in Austin during SXSW and there's nothing worse than the sight of a city full of cloney short-ish guys with dyed black hair wearing ripped t-shirts and Army jackets and Dickies, sporting bad tattoos, bumming smokes, unloading shit out of their rusted kidnapping vans, looking for seventeen-year-old fat girls with heavy eyeliner to infect with their harsh Minnesotian strain of chlamydia and convince to go hand out flyers for their Wednesday 6 PM slot at the Broken Spoke. (And no, a band dude didn't once steal my girlfriend. Okay, maybe.)

The gang finds Paul and Jenn and David, their film prof-dorks, who ask them about their plan for meeting up and interviewing the bands this week. Lacey camera-chins that they have a very "foggy plan of action." Their three bands are the not-at-all-MTV-mandated Halifax, Hellogoodbye, and Enon. Paul goes on to say that they have to have a rough cut ready in two weeks, and that their "trip" depends on it. Rachel then expounds on this theme, camera-sagging that if they don't have their rough cut in on time, they won't get to go on their trip, and she's going to make sure that doesn't happen even if she has to do all the work by herself. Yeah!

Austin. Austin. Ha -- a shot of a band unloading their shit from a kidnapper van. Told you. Cue the fat girl with eyeliner. Warehouse. Rachel, Wes, and Lacey work on plans for the night, for meeting one of the arriving bands at "The Parish." Lacey, loving nothing more than tattling -- well, okay, she loves spying a bit more -- announces that Mel is going out to dinner instead of hanging around, so they've given her a pager so that they can alert her when it's time to hook up with the band dorks. Lacey then camera-talks that Mel doesn't care about their job at all. You know, Lacey, nowadays you can get makeup permanently tattooed on. That way you wouldn't have to waste half a lipstick every time you film a confessional.

The happy couple walks down the street holding hands. Vomit! Mel camera-talks that she doesn't want to go interview Enon, because, she says, she doesn't care about interviewing Enon. That's some fantastic circular logic, kid. Why does your entire identity rely on having a man in your life? "Oh, I don't know. I guess because my entire identity relies on having a man in my life."

Restaurant. Danny and Melinda eat. I think my ex-girlfriend brings them their drinks. (A different one. Not the one who may or may not have been stolen from me by a dude in a band.) (But seriously, how can you be attracted to a guy who lives with his mom and wears black nail polish? Seriously.) Mel says that she's going to get drunk and will no doubt get her "ass chewed out." Ew, Mel. You don't need to tell us what you and Danny are going to do later. That's just gross. And unsanitary. When Melinda reveals that Lacey will be the one getting mad at her, Danny says, "Who cahes." Danny then cahmera-tahks about how great everything is going with Mel. Yeah, you guys have been officially dating now for, like, what? An afternoon. If it were already getting rocky, I'd think you guys were totally, fundamentally doomed. (Foreshadowing alert!) Danny says that Mel is going to be "hammahed" for her job later. They both giggle.

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Real World




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