Real World
Every Girl’s My Girlfriend

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Making The Band

Austin. Warehouse. Neh bitches to Lacey and Johanna about Danny and Wes trying to build a rapport, but this is a documentary and they don't really have to build rapport. Neh says that this is about their trip, and Johanna suggests that he should hold a meeting and tell them his feelings. Johanna thinks it shouldn't turn into a fight. Neh tells her that everything turns into a fight. Um, isn't that the point of this show? It could even be the series title: Everything Turns Into A Fight.

Neh, wearing one of those newish weird messenger bag-slash-backpack-slash-man purses, walks down the street with Danny and Wes. In what I guess is his version of a "meeting," he just casually tells Wes that he and Danny are two of the most "unprofessional bastards" he's ever met. Good meeting, Neh. Is someone taking minutes? Wes asks what he means, and Neh explains that they treated Enon like shit but then treated Halifax like they were all homies. Wes tries to defend himself, but Neh busts them on the drinking thing and tells them that they should have let Halifax go have a beer while they documented it. It's a good point. I guess Wes and Danny aren't really clear on the whole concept of "documentary." If Wes and Danny had done March of the Penguins, they would have been courting the penguin-ladies themselves. Neh then camera-talks that the guys said that they only had one beer, which he knows is a lie. The walking continues, and Wes camera-tools that they have a lot of "partying to be done" and that, in his opinion it takes precedent over "this stupid documentary." Wow. That' Wes suddenly sucks even more than I already thought. How is that possible? They conveniently stand in front of sponsor Chipotle, arguing, until Danny and Wes go in to get burritos and Neh walks off, all of them cursing at each other. Heh.

Day. Birds. Tower. Bird. Windmill? Cactus. Warehouse. Boobs. Mel walks around in a bikini top, and she and Danny meet in the kitchen, both putting away dishes. Mel then camera-hoots that she and Danny have their drunken fights (like Barfly!), and that it's because they don't yet know what "buttons" to "tiptoe" around. She goes on to say that she didn't know hanging out with Halifax would be a big deal to Danny. She hugs him and whispers to his big stupid hat, "I want you to just love me and not be mad at me." Another good title for this show. Danny says that saying what he did the other day (girlfriend stuff?) was really hahd for him, and then for her to jump on bars immediately after that and hang all over other dudes pissed him off. Mel says that she loves him, and why would she then fuck it up. Huh? She goes on, doing that desperate pleading thing that she does where she grabs Danny's hand and talks close to his face, her Wisconsin accent going nuts. "I haven't jumped on bars since then," she says, which is really very, very funny in her accent. Danny says that she should do what she wants to do because if not doing that is her being fake, he doesn't want her. And in the Best Camera Work Ever, as Mel grabs his arm higher and pleads, "It's not me being fake," they rack in (pun intended) on her giant boobs pouring out of her too-small bikini. Gold star, sirs! Excellent work. Mel goes on, sort of digging a hole, saying that relationships take "sacrifice" and that it's something she's willing to do. The fuck? Danny quickly says, "So it's hard for you not to, like, flirt with guys and jump on bars and hang all over band members and stuff like that." Mel says she was just being "friendly," and Danny says, "'Friendly'? Well, then, I'd love to be your friend," and walks off. Heeeeeeeeeeeee.

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