Real World
Every Girl's My Girlfriend

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Stee: C- | Grade It Now!
Making The Band

Fish. Fish. Mel lies in bed as Katie, a "friend," sits on the bed. Poor girl, thought she was going to come over and drink and get on camera and maybe shoot some pool, but she ends up having to listen to this shit from Mel. Mel says that if there's one person she could just kiss for the rest of her life, it would be Danny. Goddamn, someone grab Katie a bucket, because I think she's going to spew, having to listen to that shit. Katie says that until Danny "feels" it, he's not going to trust it. Mel says that Danny isn't confident enough, and that she can't make him be that way.

So -- and this is truly great -- we see Lacey sitting just outside Mel's room, totally fucking listening to this whole thing. What a fucking snoop. Neh is there too, but he's legitimately reading. Lacey is just sitting on the edge of that giant stupid round couch/bed, picking her nails and listening.

Mel goes on to say that Katie even knows how strong Mel's feelings are for Danny. Dude, we all do. Katie says he doesn't feel it because he's been hurt before. Mel says it hurts that he doesn't trust her like she trusts him. (Yeah, right! Just like how you showed up and confronted him for talking to other girls at the bar recently? Short memory.) Mel says she would give up anything to be with Danny right now. Katie replies, "Then just let him think he's right."

So outside the room, this comment pisses Lacey off something fierce. Lacey turns to the not-listening-to-her Neh and says, "That's bullshit Little House on the Praire talk." She repeats what Katie said, saying that Katie is "fucked up," as she wanders into the bathroom to find Johanna. Lacey promptly repeats everything to Johanna, who just laughs. Lacey has to include her Little House line to Johanna because it's just that goddamn choice. Lacey continues bitching. "If you love him you'll let him abuse you," she paraphrases. Jesus Christ, someone needs to fuck Lacey right now.

Austin. Night. Clouds. Trees. Water. A car. Bedroom. Danny is back on Mel's bed and she announces that she's had a talk with Katie and that she's sorry. She goes on, taking Katie's advice, it seems, to say that she wasn't looking at what she did the other night from Danny's caved-in-skull perspective. She says some convoluted shit about how she can see from his point of view that it might look like she's doing "it" just to make him mad and somehow fulfill is non-trusting opinion of her. Or something. He agrees. She goes on to say that she's sorry and that she'll never do that again. They snuggle as Mel camera-deludes that she thinks the more Danny trusts her, the less jealous he'll be, adding that she really doesn't think his jealousy is that out-of-control, but that there are certain ways of behaving he expects his girlfriends to do. Then she says something about "norm," and I'm not sure if she's talking about Norm MacDonald, but I wish she were, because he's funny. I love to say "anal rape" as a punchline. Danny then goes all whispery, saying, "I do trust you. But I still wouldn't want what happened last night to ever happen again." Creepy, with the whispering. So then Mel says some crazy shit: "I love you and I want to be with you until the day I die." Quoi?! The fuck. The great thing is that while she says it, Danny says, "Shh..." instantly wondering what the crap he's gotten himself into. Too late, holmes. Too late.

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Real World




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