Real World

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | 246 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Fat Tuesday

A drunken Jamie and not-as-drunk-Kelley are standing outside, listening at the "door" (it's actually a curtain). Kelley whispers to ask what they are listening to. Jamie says it's "the sounds of kertanging in the morning" and they both bust out with giggles. Julie comes out of her room in a towel to ask if Matt is in there. Kelley says, "I don't know. Probably." Julie makes retching noise and runs back into her room. Kelley whispers to Jamie that "her friend is playing on the computer downstairs." We get a shot of Friend totally opening all their files and shit. I hope Matt showed them how to password protect them! Jamie says that he'll sleep in Danny's bed. Julie says that she's sleeping in Melissa's room. I don't know why she's not sleeping in her own room. Kelley says that she'll be sleeping in her own room, but "not kertanging!" Jamie makes a gesture like he's pulling back a bow and arrow, which I don't get. Oh, Dr. Peter is coming over. Jamie runs into Melissa's room and yells, "Slumber party!" I think I like Jamie better when he's drunk. Dr. Peter appears in Kelley's room, wearing only pajama bottoms. Julie says she "needs to talk to Melissa, big time," and walks out.

Okay. This is possibly the best confessional sequence in Real World history. Melissa and Julie are in the confessional. Melissa says, "What is going on in this house? What kind of weird sexual situation are we in?" We see a shot of Jamie doing the hula on Danny's bed. Melissa continues, "So Matt's in there praying for his life to be over, while David's servicing the hos." We see a shot of Matt with his pillow over his head, then a shot of David's comforter moving around. Melissa: "Jamie's passed out in Danny's bed. Kelley comes home with Peter, and they go to bed in their room." Shots of Jamie sleeping and Kelley and Peter in bed together. "So next, I get another, 'Psst! Yo, Melissa!' 'What?' I'm thinking I'm seeing Jesus and my days are through. It's just long-haired Julie. 'What do you want?'"

Real World

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