Okay. This is possibly the best confessional sequence in Real World history. Melissa and Julie are in the confessional. Melissa says, "What is going on in this house? What kind of weird sexual situation are we in?" We see a shot of Jamie doing the hula on Danny's bed. Melissa continues, "So Matt's in there praying for his life to be over, while David's servicing the hos." We see a shot of Matt with his pillow over his head, then a shot of David's comforter moving around. Melissa: "Jamie's passed out in Danny's bed. Kelley comes home with Peter, and they go to bed in their room." Shots of Jamie sleeping and Kelley and Peter in bed together. "So next, I get another, 'Psst! Yo, Melissa!' 'What?' I'm thinking I'm seeing Jesus and my days are through. It's just long-haired Julie. 'What do you want?'"
There's a quick edit and then Melissa continues, "Next face. 'Psst! Yo, Melissa!' 'What? What?' It's Danny. He don't know where to sleep. He's trying to jump in Kelley's bed, and there's already a man up in there. He don't know what to do. Try to get in his own bed, butt-naked with Jamie, that ain't gonna work." We see a security-cam looking shot of Danny running naked from room to room with his naughty bits pixellated. Melissa continues, "Try to go up in Matt's room. Matt's still over there praying." We see another shot of Matt with his pillow over his head. "David's still servicing some hos." Another shot of under-the-cover motion. "So, he jumps in my bed. Don't even know Julie's in the bed!" We see a shot of naked Danny running from room to room again. "So, let me tell you what the sex life is like. Melissa is in bed with a Mormon on the left, a naked gay guy on the right. What am I supposed to do with that?" We see Danny walking naked down the hallway again. In the confessional, Julie mock-wails, "What did I sign up for? The Belfort brothel, that's what it is!" Melissa wails, "Why? Why?" I know I did not do that scene justice, but it was hilarious. Once again proving that comic-relief Melissa is the best Melissa there is.
The song "Say My Name" plays as David's "date" comes downstairs. I'm surprised they're willing to show their faces in front of the camera. Especially since she is totally a man! I swear, I saw an Adam's apple. Plus, she's still carrying her drink, like is she going to try to pretend that she and David were just having a little cocktail hour upstairs? David, "Friend" and "Date" walk outside to the car. David bids his date goodbye, and she says, "It was nice to meet you." I have no comment on that. In an interview, David mumbles a bunch of nonsense words and then says "woo woo" a lot. Then he gets to the point: He never exchanged names with his date, "so I don't know who that really was." He grins sheepishly. Yeah, I bet his mother is proud now.