Real World

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!

The roommates gather outside and wait for their cars to arrive. Simon's car arrives first. Mallory looks at him and starts bawling and shakes her head no. That was, for some weird reason, the most real moment of the whole season for me. Ace interviews that Simon is the first gay guy he's known, and now he loves the gays! Thanks, Simon! Adam thanks you, too. Simon gets in the car and voice-overs that he might not ever see some of his roommates again, and that he will miss them all. On-screen text informs us that Simon returns to Ireland and that he's still in a relationship with Kakistos. I like the idea of these captions, but I kind of wish the editors had been snarkier. Like Simon's should have said, "Simon returned to Ireland, where he is happy to know that Ace doesn't hate gay people anymore."

The next car is for Christina. She orders everyone to join in a group hug, and they do. In a confessional, Christina says she's "become close to six other people who have impacted [her] life, and now they are being taken away from [her]." Bonus points for Christina's cheeriness. Negative points for using "impact" as a verb. Christina presses her hand against the car window as it pulls away. The on-screen text informs us, "Christina returned to her job in Las Vegas...She is planning to attend Graduate School [sic]." Why capitalize "graduate school"? Or "she" for that matter. And it should have said, "Christina returned to her job in Las Vegas...where she is definitely not a stripper."

CT asks everybody to paint his or her name on his shirt. Isn't it a little late in the game for that? CT interviews that he's past resenting Leah, because they were both to blame for whatever happened. Leah interview that she's going to take the fun things home and leave the bad things there. Another car pulls up, and it's for Adam and Leah. Ace interviews that he hopes Adam finds the girl he's desperately searching for. I think Ace might want to change the sex there, and I think Adam has already found him. Leah hugs CT and probably smudges all of the wet paint on his shirt. CT interviews that he hopes Leah finds love and a family and happiness...and a mouth plug. See? Why couldn't CT be like that more often? Adam puts his upper body out of the car window to wave, and I totally thought he was going to get decapitated when they went through the gate, but he goes back inside just in time. The on-screen text informs us, "Adam is living in Los Angeles with his mother. He is still writing his rhymes." Actually, that one was pretty good. Although I might have said he was still "rapping" and made sure to put rapping in quotation marks. The on-screen text says, "Leah has learned that she has no health problems. She has not visited Florence or Giuseppe." Okay, that one was pretty good too. I might have been even meaner about it, but it's the thought that counts.

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Real World




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