Did you ever notice that the "ugly" fish in the tank has lips kind of like Keri's? Anyway, the roommates are out at a bar, dancing and doing shots. Lots and lots of shots. Now it's 2:40 AM, according to some outdoor clock, and Kyle and Keri are walking home. Keri drunkenly rambles that she's not handing Kyle the keys because she's drunk, and then interrupts herself to ask if the street is named after Ryne Sandberg. I'm going to guess that it's actually named after Carl Sandburg, since he wrote all those poems about Chicago. Kyle kind of ignores her, and Keri repeats, "Is! That! After! Ryan! Sandberg?" Kyle tells her that it's not Ryan, it's Ryne. But Princeton still doesn't know that it's actually named after Carl Sandburg. Or at least, that's my guess, since that's how it's spelled. Keri tells Kyle that she's been drinking since she was fourteen and knows how to handle herself, so she can get home alone. Kyle earns a few points from me when he sarcastically answers, "Really?" Then, he points out that she almost fell on her face earlier. Keri says that she's drunk, but she's not blind. Keri asks Kyle if he wants to go home with her or let her find her own way home. Kyle says he wouldn't let her go home on the subway alone. Keri points out that she didn't ask him to do this. Once they get on the subway, Keri yells out that she's so excited that she got drunk tonight, and Kyle shushes her. Keri says that she doesn't black out or puke when she drinks. Once they get off the subway, Keri starts Stage Four of Drinking: being sorry for everything. She apologizes for getting so drunk. As they arrive home, Keri says that she's not used to people taking care of her. Kyle says that he's used to it, and that it makes him happy to take care of her.
Later, Keri has changed her top. She hugs Kyle, and says that wants to thank him for bringing her home; she apologizes again for being so drunk. In an interview, Kyle says that he's most attracted to Keri when she shows emotions. Chris sits at the counter, eating. Keri thanks Kyle again, and he says that he'll always bring her home. Kyle sits on one of those little red dot cushions, and looks ridiculous. Keri wanders toward the bedrooms, and Kyle asks if she needs someone to tuck her in. Hint hint. Keri does. Kyle comments to Chris that it's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. Chris just takes a huge bite of his burger in response. He's a man of few words, that Chris. Kyle creeps into Keri's bed and gives her a big hug. She gives him the trailing fingers of seduction up and down his ribcage, but he leaves anyway. Keri immediately passes out.