Kyle is on the phone with Nicole, his girlfriend. She asks about his female roommates. In an interview, Kyle says that Nicole is "very, very unselfish with [him]," because she knows that he needs to have a lot of experiences at this stage of his life. What about her experiences? Maybe she's just letting him do whatever so that she can go out and have "experiences," too. And if so, yay for her. But according to Kyle, the terms of their relationship are all about him. Keri tells CJP that she needs to use the phone, but Kyle has been on it for "like, three hours," and she doesn't know to whom he's talking. Nicole asks Kyle whether he thinks any of his female roommates are attracted to him. She adds (seriously) that she's sure all of them are. Kyle agrees that all of them are, and then he laughs, but I really don't think he was kidding that much. I kind of hate Kyle. He really loves himself. I guess you would have to in order to be on this show. Nicole asks if any of the women would act on it, and how Kyle feels about it. In an interview, Kyle says that all of the definitions people put on relationships ("together," "dating") don't apply to his relationship with Nicole. So in other words, he wants to be free to screw around, but still have her on the back burner. Which is fine, as long as she's got those same freedoms. Kyle reads something while he half-listens to Nicole complain that they are always in this "pseudo broken-up stage." Kyle retorts that they "used to be in Shangri-La." Keri complains to CJP that Kyle needs to get off the phone. No kidding.
Keri and Kyle lie in bed and play grab-ass. In an interview, Kyle says that while Keri is aware of Nicole, and of his relationship with Nicole, Kyle and Keri have developed a "very friendly, and touchy-feely, flirtatious relationship, which is fine." Kyle voice-overs that he's attracted to Keri, but at the same time, restraining himself and trying to be respectful of Nicole. Kyle explains to Keri that he doesn't want to give himself over completely to his relationship with Nicole because he has to "be true to [himself] and [his] youth." Oh, stow it, Princeton. What a load of crap. Basically, Kyle's rationalizing screwing around on his girlfriend while still keeping Nicole all to himself. Either break up with her, or don't. Quit being such a pussy about it. Keri and Kyle stare at each other some more.
Did you ever notice that the "ugly" fish in the tank has lips kind of like Keri's? Anyway, the roommates are out at a bar, dancing and doing shots. Lots and lots of shots. Now it's 2:40 AM, according to some outdoor clock, and Kyle and Keri are walking home. Keri drunkenly rambles that she's not handing Kyle the keys because she's drunk, and then interrupts herself to ask if the street is named after Ryne Sandberg. I'm going to guess that it's actually named after Carl Sandburg, since he wrote all those poems about Chicago. Kyle kind of ignores her, and Keri repeats, "Is! That! After! Ryan! Sandberg?" Kyle tells her that it's not Ryan, it's Ryne. But Princeton still doesn't know that it's actually named after Carl Sandburg. Or at least, that's my guess, since that's how it's spelled. Keri tells Kyle that she's been drinking since she was fourteen and knows how to handle herself, so she can get home alone. Kyle earns a few points from me when he sarcastically answers, "Really?" Then, he points out that she almost fell on her face earlier. Keri says that she's drunk, but she's not blind. Keri asks Kyle if he wants to go home with her or let her find her own way home. Kyle says he wouldn't let her go home on the subway alone. Keri points out that she didn't ask him to do this. Once they get on the subway, Keri yells out that she's so excited that she got drunk tonight, and Kyle shushes her. Keri says that she doesn't black out or puke when she drinks. Once they get off the subway, Keri starts Stage Four of Drinking: being sorry for everything. She apologizes for getting so drunk. As they arrive home, Keri says that she's not used to people taking care of her. Kyle says that he's used to it, and that it makes him happy to take care of her.