Real World
Flora Has No Class

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D | Grade It Now!
Flora Has No Class

Okay, we're back. Now, completely ignoring the important stuff Cynthia just shared, Melissa totally backs up Flora on a fight about dirty dishes. It took me a long time to learn this, but I'll share a secret with you: if the dishes are driving you nuts, WASH THEM. Writing notes and getting all bent out of shape doesn't do shit. So Flora and Melissa collaborate on a nasty note as Sarah tries to convince them that it's futile. "I have too many things to worry about besides dishes." WORD. Life is not about being a dish cop; why can't these stupid Real World people ever realize that? Season after season, it's the same old bullshit. Flora and Melissa argue with Sarah (even though they're Dan's dishes in the sink), the patented Bunim-Murray Tense Guitars play, and we go to commercial.

Cynthia and Melissa are chilling on the couch. Cynthia shares, "I'm a minority everywhere I go. If I tried to take everyone to a ghetto-ass party, they wouldn't go. They don't want to be a minority!" Oh man, huge word to that. People are so scared of the unknown. And of black people. And also of poor people. Its not catching, rich folks! Swear to god. Melissa, a princess if I ever saw one, edges herself ever-so-slightly away at the mention of a "ghetto-ass party" and murmurs, "That's true, I never thought of it...." Yeah you did. Cough cough, "stolen wood"? Yeah you did.

Some Old Tyme Vaudeville music plays as three little kids (we never learn their names) rollerblade up to the house, looking for Sarah. Flora lets them in, even though Sarah isn't there. Poolside hijinks ensue as Flora sits stonily by, smoking. She starts getting grouchier and, since it's chilly and windy out, has them come play in the house. The camera follows three active sets of bare feet as they roam all over the house. Flora, Melissa, and Cynthia just lie collapsed on couches, looking like nervous bundles wrapped in blankets. The kids go a little wild, doing backflips and going to town on the huge selection of games in the house. Flora takes time out from her phone call (Louis or Mitchell, I wonder?) to say to one kid, "You're good until I smack you." Though I have no idea what that means, the kid nods as if he understands. Next, we get a montage of Flora smacking the kids gleefully, saying "Bad, bad!" and grinning like a jack-o-lantern. One kid goes up to Cynthia and notes there's a "booger in [her] nose." Cynthia warns him to "back up, boo." Melissa is like, yeah, back up, she's from the ghetto, don't you know! Finally, Flora kicks them out. She should have NEVER LET THEM IN, but oh well. Three boys under age ten? You'd have to pay me to baby-sit, seriously. They skate around outside, making faces at the camera people through the glass. One kid bangs his head and pitches the horns to the camera, which goes very well with the Tense Guitars.

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Real World




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