Real World
Flora Has No Class

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Alex Richmond: D | Grade It Now!
Flora Has No Class

Cut to Flora and Melissa leaving a "stern letter" to Sarah. Flora calls the kids "little rodents." "That isn't how you spell 'allowed,'" Melissa helpfully points out. The three roomie girls head out to eat, leaving the note taped on the door so the kids can skate right up and read it. While they're in close range, Flora grabs one and half-playfully, half-seriously throttles him, shaking him back and forth while saying, "Do you understand you're banned from this house?" The kid rolls his eyes and doesn't say anything. How fucked up is this? Flora is being a total bully. They head out to eat. The kids stick around.

Sarah comes home, tears up the note, and invites the kids in to play. "Those guys just don't understand children. Flora is intolerant." WORD. Footage of the kids happily skating on the ramp and looking through a telescope follows.

Flora calls home from the restaurant. How fucking Type A. And she wastes all that anal energy bartending and sleeping around. "I don't want those kids in the house PERIOD." What a Bossy Bessy. Fuck off, Flora! That's my new mantra. Sarah says Flora should have just told the kids to come back later. WORD. Flora put herself out when she shouldn't have, and now she's all upset because the kids were ACTING LIKE KIDS. PLAYING. MESSING AROUND. FOR GOD'S SAKE. Flora says the kids are "thieves" and "nasty" and wants Sarah to "respect what [she's] asking." Sure, Flora, right after you start respecting other human beings. You first.

Enter Jason and Louis, the skate-shop guys, who "take responsibility for the kids," according to Sarah. What, are they like their guardians? I am so confused. The kids get hugs. Dan comes in and asks playfully, "Who are you? Do you know this is my house?" One kid does that fake-out handshake/you're-too-slow thing, and Dan goes, "Ooh! I got the bow-wow!" What in hell is the bow-wow? Dan and Arnie settle down at the table and start playing with chopsticks.

Later, just as the kids are done painting the ramp and are carrying it out, the three roommate girls come back from dinner. Melissa turns and excitedly whispers to Cynthia, "Look at what's happening in our house!" Flora takes a pause, sighs, rolls her eyes exhaustedly, and enters the house. I invoke my mantra. Get ready, the Tense Guitar Riffs are playing.

Flora comes in like a hurricane: "Sarah! I need to talk to you RIGHT NOW. I want them OUT! WE want them out! You are disrespecting me." Um, the kids are like right there, superbitch. Playing with two adults and with chopsticks. Care to calm down? Moments like these are why I'm glad I have a mantra. Sarah makes a bad judgement call as she asks Flora to tell the kids herself that she wants them out. Um, hello, bad-memories-to-be? Meet Flora. Flora charges over and bellows, "OUT, OUT OF MY HOUSE." Arnie and Dan look up like, "Huh? Why?" "NO!" Sarah says, "We aren't communicating!" Duh. Flora shrieks, "I LEFT you a NOTE!" Melissa relays via a sit-down that "Flora's outburst was not just about that day...there was other, built-up stuff." So scar a few kids as you let out your pent-up rage? Why not? No one cares about a few kids. Flora stomps off muttering, "Don't even talk to me right now," and Sarah says, "Bow-wow." Not smart. Flora flips out some more: "Bow-wow your fucking ass -- respect your roommates! You're twenty-five, not five! Out! OUT!" Sarah takes the kids into the front yard, yelling, "They're kids from the ghetto who wanted to see a fucking mansion. You're treating these kids they way they've been treated their entire lives!" That is depressing. But Sarah -- savior complex, much?

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