Dan is modeling. It's the "nerd chic" shoot. He was so ahead of his time, this photographer. Nerds are huge! Dan announces that he's moving to Italy. So much for the business! His flight leaves June 17. The first thing Dan said he thought of was, "How am I going to tell Johnny?" Oh, the Cuban Pat Smear! Sweet, sweet Johnny! You're going to cry in the airport and I am going to make fun of you. But you know I think you're cool.
Garbage plays, "(The Queerest of the) Queer" as we zoom up on a Men's Health Winnebago. I swear to god, it says that. There's a sign on the door that says "Young Men's Survey." Make your own joke for that one. Dan and Johnny enter, and Dan prepares to get an AIDS test, which normally would be a totally anonymous process, but since Dan has elephant balls, he decided to do it on camera. WOW. When I first got AIDS-tested, I was so freaking nervous. Dan rules. His results are negative, and he says to the guy, "You're a very nice man." Ah, sweet relief. The guy asks Dan whether he was worried. Here we go. Dan, the Drama Queen, plays up the moment to the hilt. He knots his fingers together and brings them to his lips, then fixes those huge baby blues on the testing guy and says, with feeling, "Yeah." Go Drama Queen! Get busy! Go Drama Queen! You're negative! Go! Go! Go! Go! Then he busts out the voice-over to say that getting AIDS-tested has become "a rite of passage" with young gay men and that "you have to -- you have to -- because there are so many people dying." Huge word to that, and good for you Dan, for being responsible and open and doing it on camera. It's almost as good as a threesome. Almost. Hugs all around.
Mark, Sarah, and Flora are sprawled out on the beds in Sarah's room. A slumber party with a tickle fight? God, no. Mark is saying that he doesn't want to do the coffee shop, and that he was into Delicious Deliveries because it was his idea. Flora sighs and groans, and says she does not want a restaurant, but she wants a coffee shop. Again. We. KNOW. Flora somehow says that it can be a coffee shop with delivery and that Mark contributed more than some of the shareholders did, and that she wants him to be a part of it. Whatever. Sarah thinks that Mark will stick it out for the next few days. We see Mark leave the house and hear him say, "I can't believe I'm going to waffle again." Hee.
Dan and Johnny, sitting in a monorail. They're going to watch the sunset. Dan breaks the news about moving to Italy like this: "I need to go to the bookstore to get a book on how to speak Italian. 'Cause that's where I'm going." Bad boyfriend! Bad!