I'm doing this recap incredibly hung over, so if the bitterness and rage bubbles to the surface a little more frequently than usual, you'll know why. Oh, and just a tip: if you're drinking at a Tiki Bar and someone keeps buying the entire bar free rounds for some mysterious reason, stick to beer. Just say no to mojitos and zombies. It's true what they say: zombies really do eat your brains.
Previously...aw, my new Adelphia Moxi didn't tape the previously. Sucks to be...well, nobody.
The Graphic of Stupid reads: West Palm Beach, FL. 230 miles north of Key West. The kids walk. It's very windy. There's more blowing going on here than at Clay Aiken and Andy Dick's joint birthday party. We get a typically subtle commercial for Marriott, where the pussies are hiding out...I mean, "the kids are staying." They walk though the parking lot. Janelle acutely observes that it's very windy. Jose voice-overs that Hurricane Rita has forced the kids to evacuate (heh), and ride out the storm in West Palm Beach. Shots of wind. Trees blowing. Fronds. Cars. Etc. The kids are sharing a suite. Someone voice-overs that they're not looking forward to all of them sharing a room -- not after last night's Paula outburst. They turn out the lights.
Day. Crazy surfers wait for tsunamis. Wind. Wind. Water. A weather report talks about the storm. In the hotel bar, Jose and Tyler read the paper and watch the news, discussing how Rita hasn't really made landfall yet. Rita is strengthening. So is my desire to barf.
I'm not fucking kidding, my cat is fighting with her own back paw right now. Numbnuts.
Svet and Paula walk, carrying bags. Hurricane? Sure, let's shop! They stop to eat salads. Paula tells Svet that she's holding a grudge against John, and then Paala tells us that she doesn't want to be stuck in a room with him right now, because she's so mad and so is he and bleh blah bloo. Svet says that John is a "simple person" (heh), and is, therefore, very forgiving; she thinks Paula should just pull John aside and clear the air. Paula now denies that she was drunk last night. Well, I guess the malnutrition could account for some of the weaving and incoherent thoughts. Paula camera-bones that she's now apparently a lesbian and that she cockblocks John. Yes and yes. She goes on to say that she's frustrated, because everything she says comes out the wrong way. Paula then says, "Do you know how hard it is to be a bulimic anorexic lesbian?" Paula and Svet start kinda-amusingly riffing on what a full-time time job that is, and how Paula could start a gang of hungry, pissed-off people. Ah, the best humor comes from sad truths.
West Palm Beach. West Palm Beach. Beach. Pink buildings. Buildings. MARRIOTT! Zach drinks wine in the bar and watches the weather, enthralled. Jose joins him, and Zach camera-fros something about the hurricane hitting close to home, but I'm too mesmerized by the ever-increasing height of his hair. It's reaching Kid 'N Play territory. Zach gets up, and walks up to the TV and touches it like Carol Anne from Poltergeist; he is really into The Weather Channel.