Real World
Girl Fight

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Girl Fight

Danny, Kelley, and Julie are at a restaurant (of course). Danny is scoping out the guys inside, and points one out to Julie. We see a shot of the man in question, and he's kind of goofy looking. He has on a baseball cap as part of his waiter's uniform, and it's slightly askew, and it makes him look like he is about four years old. But some chicks (and guys) dig that. Julie says that the guy is "pretty cute." In an interview, Julie says that she would "love to foster a relationship with somebody." Who uses the word "foster" in everyday life? Julie goes into the restaurant to talk to the guy while Danny and Kelley look on like proud parents watching their baby take her first steps. Kelley says that the guy is cute, and Danny says that he has good taste. In men, maybe, but not in sweaters. He's still wearing the gray one. In an interview, Kelley says, "Julie is definitely vying for male attention," which doesn't really make sense, because doesn't "vying" mean "competing"? I think a better word choice would have been "hoping" or even "seeking." But I digress. Kelley concludes by saying that Julie is a "walking hornball," although the closed captioning said "cornball." I think we all know that she said "hornball." Julie comes out of the restaurant smiling, and Danny and Kelley ask what the guy said. Julie says goofily, "I don't know!" because she was too busy looking at him to listen. As they are discussing him, the guy comes out and says that their table is ready. Nope, still not that cute.

Dr. Peter, who will be playing a mostly non-speaking role in this week's episode, has joined the kids. Kelley finds out that Cute Waiter's name is Baxter. Who names their kid Baxter, for crying out loud? What is his brother's name -- Buster? And does he have a sassy little sister named Beans? What is this, The Little Rascals? Julie continues to make the googly eyes that worked so well on Matt earlier this season. Kelley talks to one of Baxter's co-workers, a woman with the unfortunate moniker of "Squirrel." The fuck? I keep waiting for her friend "Moose" to come out. Actually, it would be cool if there were a girl named "Moose" because then it would be like You Can't Do That On Television, but "Squirrel" just sucks. I can only hope that it is a nickname and not her given name. Anyway, Kelley asks Squirrel (I can barely type it) if Baxter has a girlfriend, and Squirrel cagily says that he does, and then says that he has many. Hmm, I think Squirrel does not want Baxter to hook up with any of these girls for some reason. Pay attention, class, this will be important later. Squirrel finally yells to Baxter, who comes over and is subjected to the Spanish Inquisition by Kelley. We discover that he is twenty and he claims that he doesn't have a girlfriend. Kelley says that Julie is twenty, and Danny says that she wants Baxter's phone number. Oh, come on. That's just embarrassing for Julie, for Baxter, and for the viewers at home. Of course, we're used to it after nine seasons of this crap. And still we come back for more. In a confessional, Julie says that they should "let [her] play [her] own game." Word. Julie acts all indignant at the table, but she does have his phone number clutched in her hand. Matt arrives at the restaurant, and Danny fills him in on their yenta-like activities. Matt meets Baxter. The group leaves the restaurant and says good-bye to Baxter on the way out. Julie grabs his hand, but he jokes that he meant to give her a hug. Outside, Dr. Peter has his one line of the night, when he encourages Julie to go back in and give Baxter a hug, like that wouldn't be obvious. Julie, to her credit, won't go. Matt says that he's got news for them: "Baxter grabbed my ass!" I think he's joking. I hope he's joking. If he's joking, that was actually kind of funny. If he's not...well, he must be joking.

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