The next morning, Reverend Alden and Mrs. Foster come by to pick Ma up, but since Ma locked the door to prevent robbery, they can't get in, and Ma is still passed out on the floor, so they assume she isn't home and take the pies and leave. And Ma wakes up and throws a rolling pin at the window and breaks it, but it's too late and they are gone, so she manages to unlock the door before passing out again. Meanwhile, the cow has wandered over to the neighbor's house (the one with the injured son), and the son offers to take the cow home, but the neighbor is all, "Let Ingalls come and get his cow if he wants it so bad!" And after Ma was so nice to him! Bastard. So then the infection in Ma's leg is really, really bad and gross and, like, blackened and stuff, so Ma starts reading the Bible for comfort or something and she reads this part about "If thine hand offend thee, cut if off" and then she goes and gets a butcher knife out of the drawer and starts boiling water and reading the Bible and then she puts the knife in the fire to sterilize it or something and then puts a tourniquet on her leg and then passes out again and I'm just thinking that the knife would in no way be able to hack through her bone, but whatever. So then Reverend Alden and Mrs. Foster find Pa and the girls at the meadow and Pa is shocked that Ma isn't with them and he gets all worried so he leaves the girls with Reverend Alden and takes off like a bat out of hell in the buckboard. And his route just happens to take him by Bastard Neighbor's house, and Bastard Neighbor is all complaining about the cow and Pa realizes that if Ma let the cow wander about the countryside, she must be in deep shit, so he goes like an even faster bat out of hell and gets home and Ma is passed out on the floor, so I guess she never got the chance to hack her own leg off, thank God. So then everyone comes home and prays real hard and Pa cries with Laura because Ma might die, but then they pray some more and then the fever lifts and everyone is happy. All I know is that after I saw this episode, I poured like two bottles of peroxide over every cut and scratch I got because I did not want to be in a position where I had to hack off my own leg. But that episode was awesome.
Episode Report CardKim: C- | 293 USERS: C+
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