Previously on The Real World: Steven and Trishelle met and pretty much immediately fell into bed together. Brynn wanted to go home. Alton and Irulan hooked up, then fought, then got back together. Arissa's mom was verbally abusive.
I would just like to point out that before the season started, I predicted on the forums that they would use that John Mayer song before the season ended, and lo and behold, it accompanies a montage of everyone packing their shit up. Thank you. Thank you very much. Okay, so it's not like I went out on a limb or anything, since the lyrics mention the words "real world," but I have to take my victories where I can get them, however small. Trishelle contributes the obligatory interview where she talks about how sad she is that they all won't be living together anymore. Seriously, do these final episodes just write themselves at this point? The first and last episodes of every season are always the same.
Out in the smokers' lounge, Alton and Irulan are feeling each other up while Arissa says that nothing at her home has changed, but that she has changed a lot. In a confessional, Arissa says that she's nervous to go home and doesn't want to go. In an interview, Arissa says she's afraid to go home and get stuck living with her mother and having a shitty job and all of the drama. Arissa dramatically puts her head between her knees. Sometimes I think she doesn't want to live with her mother because she doesn't want the competition for who can be most dramatic.
Irulan and Alton go out for sushi. In an interview, Irulan says she doesn't want to say goodbye to Alton. They discuss how they are going to stay together as a couple even though they are going to live on opposite sides of the country. Irulan and Alton agree that if they had three wishes, they would use them all to wish they could live together. Why can't they? They're adults. It's not like they have to go back to their jobs or they have mortgages or something. In a confessional, Alton says he wishes he could just marry Irulan. Why can't he? I'm not saying I think it's a good idea, but I don't understand where the barriers are. It's not like they're from warring families or something. Avril Lavigne sings about how complicated things are. Oh, yes. They are so complicated.
The phone rings, and Frank answers it. It's Arissa's mom, and she asks for Arissa. Frank tries to joke around with her, and Arissa's mom gets verbally abusive as usual. Frank thinks she's just kidding, so he goes along with it, but apparently Arissa's mom is not kidding around. She keeps saying that she's going to kill "that bitch," meaning Arissa. Frank thinks Arissa's mom is drunk. Steven walks in and listens to the conversation. Frank tells Arissa's mom that he's Steven. The two of them giggle, like ha ha Arissa's mom is an abusive alcoholic. Isn't that hilarious?
Later, Steven tells Arissa that her mom called. In an interview, Steven says that Arissa was only able to change because she was away from her family, and that he hopes she doesn't go back to Boston and live with them, because it's not a good situation. Arissa calls home and talks to her Uncle Robert. He's not sure where her mom is. In a confessional, Arissa says that she would give everything she has not to go home. So don't go! I seriously don't get all the imaginary barriers in this episode. Maybe if Arissa had started thinking about it before the day before they moved out, she could have lined up a job and an apartment in another city. Arissa dramatically tells her uncle that nothing has changed. Uncle Robert insists that it's not that bad, and that it will be better when Arissa gets home. Arissa says that now she knows what it's like to have peace and quiet, and she can't go back. In an interview, Arissa says she doesn't know where she's going. Frankly, I don't care as long as she's not on my television screen every Tuesday night.