Real World
Hey Look, More Snow

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Hey Look, More Snow

Cavalcade of unsolicited reactions to the dinner just completed. Montana kicks it off with a confessional: "I have no idea why Genesis is here. She should leave, if she doesn't like being in the house. She says she doesn't like hanging out with us? Good, then get the [expletive, perhaps 'dispossessed lesbian,' deleted] out." Luckily for Montana, Ironic Foreshadowing broke an ankle on the K-12 and is currently too busy with his cast-covered leg elevated, sipping hot chocolate at the Mount Slow Lodge, and won't be able to return to Boston to bite Montana in the ass for the comment for almost three full weeks.

And until then, the Jets (Montana, Sean, Elka) sit whispering in Elka's bed while the Sharks (Genesis, Jason, and someone the cameras won't let us see because I think it's time-traveling continuity victim Timber) talk at full volume because they're having this conversation at another place and time entirely. Sean whispers that he thinks Genesis hates him because he's "a straight, white male." Way to play the lesbian card, Sean, especially considering the one person she gets along with in the house is Jason, who is...oh, wait, a straight, white male. Never you mind. Genesis voice-overs that the house is "high school reinvented," and that the house has broken into cliques. Jason tells Genesis that his solution to the house fracture would be to say, "Sean, you be yourself, you be yourself, I'm gonna be myself, you be yourself, you be yourself, and we'll all function." Realizing that he's not famous or sensible enough to warrant the familiar star-and-rainbow icon indicating a The More You Know sequence has just taken place, we cut back to Montana, who puts way too fine a point on it as she whispers, "That's what sucks so bad, to live your whole life going to gay bars and listening to techno music, and that's all you know, and that's sad." That's not too much of a stretch. Gay bars and techno. That's the heart of it, right there. Getting rid of those = instant world peace.

The next morning (well, it...whatever), Genesis carries a stack of paper over to a seated male, who The Squiggly Hip Font of Character Introduction lets us know is "Kevin, Genesis' friend." Kevin, Genesis's friend, should forgo his leisure time sitting around that house relaxing and use it for the positive social cause of teaching Sean and Jason how to wear a white wifebeater. Because Kevin knows a thing or two about wearing the wifebeater right there. Though I doubt that Kevin, Genesis's friend, will be seeing a wife of any kind. Unless he wants to throw me in his car and cross that Vermont border again and make me his bride straightaway. It's too convenient. We can even honeymoon at Mount Slow. Hello, Kevin, Genesis's friend. Anyway, Genesis hands her friend Kevin the stack of paper, across the top of which is written "Genesisms" in that Old English font most often seen when a seventh grader writes a paper on Shakespeare and wants to make it look really, really regal. It works to the same high level of effectiveness here. Kevin, Genesis's friend, reads from what Genesis calls "an accumulation of all [her] opinions and beliefs written down into lessons that [she's] learned through [her] entire life." Kevin, Genesis's friend, comments that she's learned a lot of the lessons contained therein since she's been living in the firehouse. Here's one now: "People only hurt others because they've been hurt in the past." Another? Well, okay. "Raising your voice is only to make you feel more powerful, not for the other person to hear you better." Okay, that's enough. If y'all want more wisdom along the same hackneyed lines, next time you're going to have to get enough Chinese food to warrant three fortune cookies. Ye Olde Fortune Cookies, considering the font. Oh, damn. Kevin, Genesis's friend, reads another one, and I feel inclined to quote it because we're running off to Vermont together and I don't want him to be cranky. He can just get so cranky, sometimes. Here it is: "There are no demons that can harm you besides the demons already inside of your head." Elka ambles into the room looking particularly Catholic schoolgirl, commenting, "Cool. These are really cool, Genesis." Until, she gets to Genesism #143, "Shut up, you Catholic Schoolgirl Bitch," which, considering how aimed at the people around her these are, should be somewhere down that list.

Cut to Kameelah standing in the stairwell, staring at cutout "Genesisms" that have been taped all over the wall. More? Jeez, fine: "Lesson 75: Using your childhood as an excuse only makes you appear more immature, when you are an adult there are no more excuses." Sic, sic, SIC. I guess when you're an adult, there is also no more sentence structure. Two thoughts, two sentences. Like I'm one to talk. Anyway. "Lesson 83: 'Those that deny are the one's most deeply involved.'" Ack! Apostrophe Police, arrest that sanctimonious lesbian! Kameelah stands quietly, at least secure in the knowledge that her self-righteous list is tucked away in a rough-hewn Urban Outfitters notebook in a drawer somewhere. None-too-surprisingly, Montana has a thing to say on the matter in a confessional, and it's actually a pretty good one: "I don't know what a Genesism is, but I don't need somebody's dogma when I'm just trying to go to the 7-11 and walk down the stairs." A streetwalking bitch session between Sean, Syrus, and Montana leads Syrus back to the house, where he tears the signs off the wall and shakes hands with Sean to celebrate his job well done. For some reason, Genesis sits in the chair she was in earlier, pretending to Syrus and the world that she's asleep. Dude, she's not. Syrus accepts Sean's compliment of "nice job," adding that the only thing to do now is "wait for the hell to break loose." Much to the chagrin of the army of inexperienced temps holding down the fort at B-M Continuity Headquarters, Sean has gotten his hair unceremoniously cut with a hacksaw at some point. Nice one, Sean. History -- and Genesisms -- will have something to say on that matter, I am sure.

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