Real World
Higher Level of My Ass

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Higher Level of My Ass

Jamie and Matt are sitting in an alley somewhere. I think it might be next to their house, but who knows? Matt is wearing a shirt that looks like someone took every possible color of paint, in the brightest, most eye-splitting hue, and smooshed it all together onto some fabric. That's Matt's shirt. Jamie is sitting there in a stocking cap and sunglasses, so we're supposed to think he's hung over. If he is, he might want to avoid looking at the brightness of Matt's shirt. He might want to avoid it, regardless of his current state. Jamie says that it's not normal to go out like that every weekend. Sure it is. It's called college. Matt says he noticed Jamie's activities, and of course he has, because it's given him one more thing to judge Jamie about. Matt proves my theory correct when he says in an interview that Jamie has developed a habit of going out all the time and "it's not doing him any good." Dude, he's just out of college, he's living in New Orleans rent-free -- if he wants to go out every night, let him. Soon enough he'll have to live in the real world (no pun intended) and have a job and stuff, and he won't be able to. Jamie tells Matt he wants to "live his life without a lot of that stuff." They probably edited out the part where Jamie added, "eventually." In an interview, Matt (who is wearing that same smooshed-paint shirt) says that Jamie knows that if he keeps "indulging in these ephemeral pleasures," it's not going to help him "along that road." What road? God, I hate the editors. Jamie says he wants to break away from this "insane, intoxicating debauchery." They edited out the part where he added, "someday." Matt says Jamie has "morning-after" syndrome, where after indulging, Jamie is wondering if it was worth it. Matt feels that if it doesn't give you "peace and happiness," it's not worth it. So I guess me watching this show is not worth it? They talk about cutting it away and whittling it off. Don't ask. In an interview, Matt says that Jamie is realizing there are "parts of his life that cannot stay if he's going to continue to grow as a spiritual person." Can't you just see Matt in twenty years as the guy who greets you when you walk into church, but inside he's silently judging you for what you are wearing, or who you are with, or whatever? Hmm, maybe I'm the one that has issues. Then Jamie skateboards down the street. I'm not quite sure what that was supposed to signify. I guess it was just filler.

Jamie and Melissa are snuggling in a bed. Melissa is kissing him on the cheek, and they're giggling. The music says, "You know I love you, baby." Julie walks in and peeks around the corner, but we never see what she is peeking at. It could be Melissa and Jamie. It could be Matt's shirt from earlier -- maybe she didn't want to look directly at it for fear of burning out her corneas. Melissa says that she needs a man, and Jamie agrees. Julie continues to peer in. Jamie says that Melissa needs a man because she's horny. Suddenly, Julie is standing right next to the bed, and they've clearly been having a conversation, and Julie says, "See you later!" But they cut right from Julie peering around the corner to Julie standing by the bed. Weird. Jamie says that Julie needs a man too. Julie leaves as she says, "I don't need no stinkin' man!" Melissa tells Jamie she doesn't need a man because she's horny -- she wants "love and affection and attention." In other words, she doesn't want to have sex with Jamie -- she just wants his attention. Because I think we've all learned this season that Melissa likes attention. Melissa turns away and says she doesn't know what to do with herself. Jamie has a look on his face that I'm sure we're supposed to interpret as, "I don't know how to tell Melissa that I don't love her." But it kind of looked to me like he was thinking, "God, I really have to go to the bathroom right now." Or, "Hey, I wonder if there's any leftover pizza downstairs." I mean, really.

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