Real World
Hurricane Wilma

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Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Evacuate

Previously on...Svet came back from visiting Martin after his pops died. Paula cried on the phone because the producers didn't let her horrible abusive boyfriend stay at the house. Tyler isn't comfortable with his visit; Keith thought that it was "fucked up." Hurricane Wilma was coming and it was gonna be awesome!

Credits. Theme. John almost drowns, giggles. Melanoma. Title.

Island. Clouds. Wind in tree. House. House. John reports that there is a mandatory evacuation at 4:00 PM today and they're leaving for Fort Lauderdale. Jose camera-soul-patches that this is the second time they've had to evacuate. Tyler watches the storm on the computer. Zach camera-fros that Rita missed them but Wilma will not. They bring in the stuff from the deck, because God forbid that they lose the blow-up palm tree pool toy. Kayak. Wicker chair. Tyler calls out that he'll help as soon as he finishes his breakfast. Then in the next sentence he passive-aggressively brats to everyone that if they all helped they'd be done in ten minutes. Then why don't you Leggo your Eggo and go help, jackhole? Zach continues to work.

Paula talks to Keith on the phone. Keith sounds very gay as he "ooh"s, learning that the kids are going to Fort Lauderdale, because that's very close to where he's planning to stop on his now-hurricane-ruined drive out to see Paula. Paula brats that the one time Keith takes a moment out of his busy choking-a-bitch schedule to come visit, there is a hurricane. Yeah, God hates Keith. It's the only explanation. "Ooh," says Keith again, suggesting maybe he'll come visit and how cool would that be?! From Paula's reaction it sounds like not very cool. She just has to now remember to pack the First Aid kit. Paula tells Keith to leave early. Keith says that the storm isn't going to stop him. Apparently, neither is the restraining order.

Harbor. Clouds. Wind. Waves. House. Packing montage. Packing montage. Tyler brats that John is bringing his guitar. Oh, please don't. As they pile into the FORD!, Tyler gives us a helpful hurricane lesson, saying that anything over a Category 3 would decimate Key West, so they might not be back for weeks. Weeks? Hey...producers. Can you guys leave the cameras? I'm sure they'll be fine. No, we'll rejoin the show when you're back. Take your time. The most important thing is that you're all safe. Bye now. Tyler adds that this is his personal nightmare, being stuck on a road trip with these kids. They drive off.

Driving. Driving. FORD! FORD! FORD! Inside the car, Paula plays with what looks like birth control pills. I don't know why she bothers, I'm sure that with her malnutrition she hasn't menstruated in years. She then makes some inside joke grunting noise, saying that she now is going to get to have as much sex as she wants. Gross and yuck. Tyler then camera-queens, calling Paula and Keith "one big trailer-park tragedy," adding that there is nothing healthy about their relationship. Now Janelle launches into talking about -- in front of everyone -- how when Svet was gone, she got to see the real Paula. Tyler explains that the house opinion is that when Svet is around, she "pollutes" Paula. Paula is worriedly playing with a sheet. At least she's not picking her scabs. I assumes she's trying extra-hard to have a clean palate of skin for Keith to blemish himself. Svet camera-talks that Janelle's opinion that she makes Paula sicker is not going to keep her from hanging with Paula, and she thinks that Paula is "smarter than that." Uh, where the hell did you get that idea? Driving. FORD!

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