Real World
I Hate Matt

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
I Hate Matt

Tet Girl says that Annoying needs a woman friend. Annoying's mom calls and Annoying says she's feeling better. Her mom says her dad is doing better too.

Colin says Annoying needs him and that he's an important part of her life. Maybe if he keeps saying it, we'll get the point -- he's really important. He's the man. Anyway, he types Annoying a note on the computer and suggests that they just be friends for a week. At some point (that night? the previous week?), the two of them are lying in bed together and Annoying says that issues with her dad have caused her to be emotional. Colin, of course, says it had nothing to do with her dad, and was in fact all due to him. Dude, I think Matt has a stepladder you can borrow.

All along, I was kind of rooting for Annoying until this point. She whispers "Be my valentine. Be my shmoopy woopy. How can you turn down this cute face?" and it's really annoying. Colin turns over and at first I thought he had a raging hard-on, but after closer examination and a consultation with some experts, it was not. Check it out if you have a tape, though. I think it was his audio pack. Anyway, he leaves, and in an interview says that he needs to make a decision about Annoying.

Annoying and Tet Girl are in the kitchen, being friends. Annoying says she needs to stay away from Colin, and Tet Girl actually gives her some good advice about being her own person and not letting him have such a big effect on her emotional well-being. [Hasn't Tet Girl said exactly the same thing to Amaya, like, forty times already? --Wing Chun]

WB and Colin are at the radio station but it's not clear if this is WB's new show. I don't think it is; I think he's doing some Local Motion promotion like the one he did with Justin earlier. I hope so, anyway, because he doesn't shut up about Local Motion. If it was his own show, he'd probably get fired. Colin says he likes hanging out with WB because then his conservative frat-boy values aren't challenged. Or because WB is the most "normal" one in the house. One or the other.

Colin and WB make some sort of drink; they call them smoothies, but clearly they are alcoholic. I think the point is that Colin is only nineteen and isn't supposed to be drinking alcohol. They hang out outside and drink.

Wait, this is the best part of the whole season thus far. In the confessional, WB asks Colin why he and Annoying don't have sex. Colin says, "You need to get your wiener near a girl so you can stop trying to live vicariously through my cock and balls." Ha ha ha! Ha ha! I rewound that one about ten times. So true.

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Real World




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