Previously on The Real World: Chris, Kyle, and Keri passed the lifeguarding tests. Theo told Aneesa that he's not homophobic, because he doesn't mind gay men as long as they don't hit on him. I think Theo is misunderstanding the meaning of "homophobic." Like, as long as he doesn't beat the gays senseless, then he must not be homophobic? Whatever. I'm not going to get into it now because there will be plenty of fuel later in the episode. Chris met a dude named Kurt who lives in Minneapolis. Kurt loooooves Chris.
Kyle, Chris, and Keri show up for their first day of work as lifeguards. They get assigned to various sections of the beach and have to watch people in certain parts of the water. Poor Keri has to actually stand in the water and try to convince the little kids not to go beyond the buoys. She looks miserable. In an interview, Kyle explains that as a lifeguard, you have to be ready for anything, but most of the time, you just have to be a prick. Well, Kyle should have no trouble with that, right? Chris yells authoritatively at some dude to move to a different area. He sounds like a high-school gym teacher. I would obey. Kyle, in contrast, is way too buddy-buddy and asking people to do things rather than telling them.
Some fat dude rides a bike, and then a guy plays the drums, and then some ducks swim around. I don't know. In an interview, Aneesa explains that the non-lifeguards have been assigned to help some kids paint a mural on city property. Didn't B/M learn anything from the Boston season? These people should not be allowed to work with children! I would put my money on Tonya as being the Montana who gives wine to the kids. Kim, the Parks Director, explains that they need to choose subject matter that will benefit the community and also enable the kids to get something out of it. In other words, don't go painting some naked chicks. CJP has a camisole top on, and she has the shoulder straps pushed down so that she can get an even tan, I guess, and it's annoying the crap out of me. Every time they cut to her, I say out loud, "Push. Your Shoulder Straps. Up!" I think it's annoying because (a) is an even tan really that important? And (b) her shirt is practically falling off and she doesn't have a bra on, and while I fully support her right to go naked or whatever, she is ostensibly in a job-type situation, and it is incredibly unprofessional to flash your boss upon your first meeting. Unless you're a stripper. Or a porn star. But for the most part, not cool. In an interview, CJP says that she's excited about working with kids. The park director keeps talking about leaving a lasting impression and community and blah blah blah and I don't think any of them are listening any more because I know that I tuned out about five minutes ago.