Kelley and Melissa are talking to Jackie, one of David's models. Melissa voice-overs that this is where they started to learn the truth about the show. Kelley explains to Melissa that there's no designer, the girls are wearing their own clothes, and that there are not yet twenty girls anyway. In an interview, Melissa says that there aren't twenty models, and in fact there are only five. Jackie continues to dig David's grave even deeper, as she continues to explain. Cut to Melissa's interview, where she says they have "twenty random girls from New Orleans -- and we've seen the outfits in this town -- just put together their own clothes and come out onto this floor." Yeah, that's not a fashion show at all. That's like, well, a strip club, minus the stripping. Or maybe a beauty pageant, minus the judging. Depending on what the women are wearing. Kelley says that they thought the show was all done, but clearly it's not. In an interview, Melissa says, "David is secretive." Well, besides wanting to do it all himself, he probably knew that his female roommates, especially, would not approve of his plans.

God, is this only the first commercial break?

David is talking to Elton at NOA-TV. David says that the "fashion show" is going to be "tamed down, which is a travesty." Elton says they might be able to still pull something off that's pretty cool. Then I become convinced that Melissa is right, and Elton is an actor. David asks what the policy is on strippers. And Elton doesn't blink a fucking eyelash. Anyone else would have reacted to the word "strippers" in some way -- a smile, a gasp, something. Dude didn't move a muscle. Finally, Elton raises his eyebrows at David and asks what the girls will be doing. He and David negotiate from "taking some stuff off" to "doing some moves" to "wearing bathing suits." Elton is totally different when he's talking to David. He's...nice. Given what Melissa said in her interview, maybe they had run into each other at some strip clubs the night before. In a confessional, David says, "Always look for the loopholes." David tries to claim that "swimsuits are very summer." Look, I'm all for appreciating the female form and letting women express themselves however they see fit. But seriously? If I were in the cast, I don't know if I could participate in this show. That said, it will probably be their highest-rated show of the season. Do they even do ratings for cable access? Elton emphasizes that the women must remain clothed. I thought at first that he was joking, and that the women really were going to strip. I'll save you the suspense -- they don't.