Julie and Matt are painting chairs on the porch. Julie says that she hoped the joke would "bridge that gap that [they] have." That is a lame explanation. She should have just said she thought it was funny. In an interview, Matt says that Julie "screwed [him] over" and "made [him] look like a dork in front of a girl that [he likes]." I don't think he needed any help in the dork department. Julie says that she didn't mean to destroy his chances with "Brittany...or Brandy," and there wasn't any "malice" and she's not "a mean person." It was supposed to be "playful." Matt tries to say Julie wouldn't have done it...but Julie interrupts to say that she would have done it to anyone in the house. In an interview, Julie has been taken over by the scarf monster, as she says, "Dude, it was a joke. I'm sorry." In a confessional, Matt says that "she says it was a joke, but you wonder." What do you wonder? Am I supposed to think that Julie, who has seen more action than just about anyone in the house this season, is jealous because Matt is interested in other women? Whatever.
All of the strippers -- I mean, models -- walk into NOA-TV. In an interview, David says, "Dave has got it together." Who is this Dave he is referring to? The strippers get dressed. Melissa says she "will give David props on the set." It does look pretty nice. Lots of candles and...stuff. As David is talking to someone, a window that he had propped up somewhere falls and breaks. Well, better now than during the show. David shows Matt and Kelley how the show is going to work. In an interview, Matt says that they are the people who will be in front of the camera, live. Kelley explains in her own interview that they are also the ones who will look like idiots if it doesn't go right. Elton is huddled down in front of Kelley and Matt and asks if there is mention of price. Kelley and Matt kind of mumble, until Elton tells them that they shouldn't mention price, and then they're all, "Oh, no. No prices." David instructs the strippers to "give a lot of angles," and then demonstrates. Melissa gives Matt and Kelley the names of the strippers: "Tiger, Diana, Kauai, and Amanda." Amanda? What kind of stage name is Amanda?
Danny is in the control room and says it's time for the countdown. Kelley welcomes everyone. Matt says they will be showing off some swimsuits. They introduce Tiger, who walks like Jen from Dawson's Creek. In an interview, Kelley explains that they don't have any information, so they're making things up as they go along. As the strippers continue to come out, Matt and Kelley actually do a credible job bullshitting about the swimsuits. Kelley says that one swimsuit is her favorite because it's "fairly traditional." Matt says it's traditional until she "swings around." The bottom is a thong. Matt says that he hopes his daughter wouldn't go out in this one, if he had a daughter. For the first time since the season began, I kind of agree. No one, no matter how nice your body is, needs to be wearing a thong in public. Call me a prude, but that's how I feel. In the control room, they all crack up, and Melissa says, "Good for you, Matt." Then, David comes out. I don't think he's even wearing a swimsuit. They're just shorts. And he has his hat on crooked. And he blows kisses at the camera. Is he kidding me? In an interview, Melissa says that David is "the only male model." Remember earlier when he said there was "a good mix"? What happened to that? Matt decides to refrain from commenting on David's suit. In an interview, Matt says he wonders if "that's the world [David] has seen on TV" and if "that's the world he's trying to make his." What television show features strippers in swimsuits? Oh, Baywatch. Right. Kelley starts making up names for various muscles, and cracks me up. One stripper comes out, and Kelley comments on the zipper on her suit. This stripper has a "Diana Ross giving the concert in Central Park in the rain" hair thing going on. Kelley points out "the lights in her shoes" as we pan down to the platform shoes, and the stripper takes a big digger right in front of the camera. I don't know if we needed the cartoon "falling" sound effect, but it was still funny. Matt and Kelley manage to remain professional, but in the control room, Melissa and Danny are cracking up. Matt and Kelley wrap up the show surrounded by the women, and there's this one guy kneeling in front. Who the hell is he?