Real World
In Bed with Jay

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In Bed with Jay

Later that night at the dinner table, Mike asks Jay whether he really wants to stage his play in the house. Lars mentions that it might be really fun to have all their friends over and "entertain them somehow." In an interview, Jay indicates that he's warming to the idea. "I think it would be a fun, interesting night for everybody," he says. After dinner -- or even several days later, for all we know -- Lars, Mike, and Jay rearrange the furniture and estimate how much seating space they have. "Everybody's excited about it," Mike says robotically, in an interview that looks like someone is holding a gun to his head and he's reading from cue cards. "It's going to be a big party and everybody's going to get to see a play...and we're going to see Jay doing what he loves to do." Jay then holds court at the dining-room table, explaining to Lars and Mike what the set should look like and what their backstage duties are. I swear to God, Mike is totally yawning the entire time. Jay later approaches Sharon and asks whether she can do lights. Sharon is "terribly excited" about doing the lights, although she realizes an hour later that it's "quite a responsibility." I think that what Sharon means here by "responsibility" is "taking part in a drama in which Sharon is not the center of attention nor is she supposed to speak." Mike and Jay discuss the wisdom of putting Sharon on lights. "You don't think Sharon can run a light board?" asks Jay. "Sharon has enough trouble turning the lights off in her room," says Mike. Oh my God, Mike said something really witty. I think all this closeness with Jay and exposure to theater is turning Mike into a gay man with a pitch-perfect sense of irony. Jay meets with Mike, Lars, and Jacinda, the last of whom doesn't really participate in the meeting but stands on stage and practices some ballet positions. Jay assures everyone that Sharon can handle the lights, but suggests that they have a two-hour tech rehearsal just in case. In an interview, Sharon reiterates how scared she is of screwing up. Jay goes over the script with Sharon and explains all the tech markings to her. Sharon pretends to understand Jay but clearly doesn't. "These blue asterixes [sic]," says Sharon, staring at the script really hard. "They are...when I change the light settings, yes?" Jay tells her it's really easy if she follows the markings, but obviously Sharon doesn't know what the markings mean.

It's a new day, judging by all the B-roll of springtime in London by morning sunlight. Jay is shown making a call. His voice-over informs us that he has tried to call his father in Saudi Arabia "thirty times within the last two days." To underscore Jay's desperation to get in touch with his father, they show him sitting there while the phone rings several times. An eighties hair band sings, "I've been waiting, waiting for you." He puts down the phone and stomps off. Then there's a montage sequence of Jay getting ready to perform his play. He designs the program while a voice-over explains how anxious he is about "connecting with all these people." He sits in a chair and presses his fingers together really hard like he's concentrating. Then he reads the script a lot. "I have to look and see how much of this play I have to change to suit the audience," says Jay in a voice-over. "I mean, the sense of humor is different over here." I hear the Brits love Benny Hill, Jay. Put on a dress or something. The limeys will love it. They'll smother it with Worcestershire sauce and eat it with kippers for breakfast. But all the while he's clearly thinking about his father. Or so would the "Saudi Arabia" t-shirt he's wearing seem to indicate.

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