Real World
Issues, Schmissues

Episode Report Card
Jessica: D | Grade It Now!
Issues, Schmissues

Erin and her flannel shirt look around the beach house in awe. "Aaron," she says "this place is rad" Hee hee. That's so 1993.

Aaron explains that he met Erin while going on job interviews in San Francisco, and that they got along really well, and have a lot in common, and they stayed in touch. Literally. (Get it? "In touch?" They touch each other? Get it? Get it?)

In an interview, Glen shares too much, snarling that Erin would be his "ideal wife," (yuck, Glen. Could he be any skeezier?) and that "Aaron is a lucky guy." Glen is about six months away from donning a polyester suit and bunch of gold chains and trolling college bars for virgins.

Jon says that Erin is real purty.

So, Jon, Aaron and Erin head off to the beach. Who even knows what's happened to poor Tami and her reproductive problems? I suspect that the Tami Abortion story line and the Erin/Aaron story line occurred sometime apart, but the crack editing team at Bunim/Murray threw them together because of an overlap that will soon become clear. Today, Aaron is wearing his customary red swim trunks. And Erin is wearing a bright red one-piece. And, I swear to God, they look just like members of the Baywatch cast. It's disturbing. Jon gallumps down the stairs, to screams of horror from the Aaron/Erin contingent. He's also wearing red trunks, but has artfully accessorized them with a bright yellow tank top emblazoned with the words "Hulk Rules," a yellow straw Stetson and dingy brown cowboy boots. And tube socks. Aaron and Erin both plead with Jon to change before they head out to the beach, but he demurs.

Sweet home Alabama! On the beach, we see that the back of Jon's tank top has been all shredded -- on purpose. Like for ventilation. Even worse, we see that Glen is tagging along. The King of Grunge is wearing denim shorts, a leather belt and sneakers with no socks. Why don't Jon or Glen have any flip-flops? They're, like, $3.34 at Rite Aid. Not to mention the fact that I was seriously under the impression that California highway patrolmen handed out appropriate footwear at the state line.

The rest of this beach montage puts me off my feed: Jon rips off his Hulk Tank, and strips only down to his trunks, and Glen hops in the water and gets wet and even grosser, which I actually never thought possible.

Dom opines that Erin is sweet and intelligent. Then he wanders out of the shot and drinks some hairspray.

Aaron tosses his golden locks and snickers that whenever a girl calls for him and Dom answers the phone, Dom always tries to strike up a conversation with the girl instead of passing the phone along.

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Real World




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