Real World
Jamie is King Choad

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Jamie is King Choad

Previously on The Real World: Kelley said her feeling about romance are open; Melissa thought Jamie is "unobtainable" and Julie admitted that when she met Matt, she thought he'd be the one she'd get together with. Who asked you, Julie? Just shut up.

Multiple shots of freeway traffic. Yes sir, that New Orleans sure is beautiful and exotic! It appears to be either early morning or dusk and Kelley and Jamie are sitting on the porch discussing relationships. Jamie wants to know if Kelley is a "relationship person." She's not; she has problems staying with any one person for very long. Then she does admit she's getting to the point where she's ready to change that pattern. She tosses the same question back to Jamie, who in his adenoidal voice claims to be "adverse to marriage and long-term, single-person relationships kind of thing." While he's saying this, he makes the strangest gesture of pushing hair he doesn't have behind either ear. In an interview Jamie says that Kelley is beautiful and he's attracted to her. His voice-over continues over a shot of Jamie and Kelley playing chess (as if!), and he ventures that perhaps Kelley is attracted to him as well. Back on the porch, Jamie is continuing to wallow in his black-and-white approach toward the opposite sex. He explains there are two types of women: the ones you don't know or don't want you, and the ones who want to be married to you. That would actually be three types of women Jamie, but more importantly I find it extremely hard to believe that you have a problem with so many women dying to marry you. Jamie wishes women could understand there's a whole world between the extremes; he wants to meet someone who just wants to hook up once in a while. What a prince. How old is this loser anyway? During this explanation of the World of Jamie, Kelley stares at him, almost motionless, with her hands clutched near her face. She's thinking, "Oh god, another 'playa.' Spare me immature men trying to justify their inability to view women as useful for anything other than sex." Or maybe that was just me. Jamie concludes that if he "met the woman that rocks [his] world, [he'd] totally be singing off a different sheet of music." Kelley gives him a look that screams, "What? You moron." Or maybe I'm projecting?

Melissa and Jamie are working at a bank of equipment, perhaps at the television station. In an interview, Melissa, who appears to be wearing one of those brown things your barber wraps around you to keep the hair out of your shirt, says she's attracted to Jamie. This guy must have something that doesn't translate to the camera because I'm not getting it AT ALL. Melissa and Jamie banter a little about his past girlfriends. In an interview or confessional -- I'm not sure which -- Jamie explains that last summer he started a website for extreme sports, except he says it much more pretentiously. Stupid Jamie's stupid website always crashes my browser, so excuse me if I don't faint with excitement over his web skills. ["It didn't crash my browser, but I agree that it sucks ass; first of all, it plays that annoying music, and the 'music on/off' link doesn't work. Second, clicking on any of the top nav link to 'about us' just opens an identical window. Third, it's really choppy -- and I have an ADSL connection. Fourth, for an e-commerce site, it's really hard to navigate. Fifth...uh, I digress. But I'm sure that Kim, who is a UI expert, would have plenty more complaints about the site, so it's fortunate for her that she was on vacation this week!" -- Wing Chun] Back with Melissa, Jamie tells her he doesn't have time for a commitment. Not enough hours in the day for poor old busy Jamie. That and the fact that he can't relate to women as anything other than sperm receptacles.

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