Real World
Jamie is King Choad

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Jamie is King Choad

In her bedroom Kelley whines to Julie and Melissa that Jamie makes her feel like she's never done anything. Melissa says, "Look at me. I thought I was going to China and instead I went to Waffle House," which doesn't make any sense but is pretty funny. I'm going to give Melissa the benefit of the doubt and assume that comment referred to an earlier conversation. Melissa continues that she's "carnally interested" in Jamie and includes some fantasy about barbecue sauce. It would take a lot more than that to make Jamie palatable, Melissa. With the swirly clouds behind her, Julie says she intrigued with "her" relationship with Jamie and it's not clear if she's referring to Melissa or Kelley. Whoever it is, Julie thinks "she" and Jamie have a lot in common. Back in the bedroom Julie asks Kelley is she's attracted to Jamie and Kelley admits he's "not too bad on the eyes" but won't go further.

Just when you think it can't get any worse, Melissa and Jamie are dirty dancing in what appears to be an empty club. It puts me in mind of Bead's Extra ("Media Whorin' with Jesus Freaks: InsideRW New Orleans") and how the Real Worlders were in special cordoned-off areas whenever they went out. In an interview, Jamie admits an attraction to Melissa but is reluctant to act on it because of the way it might affect their relationship. Or because, living with her, he wouldn't be able to escape emotional involvement. One or the other. Kelley and Jamie dance on a more crowded dance floor, and in an interview Kelley says she thinks Jamie's "hot" and when she's had a few drinks she has a hard time not acting on it. She then says "hot" in relation to Jamie twenty-seven more times. What are they putting in those poor girls' water? Has Bunim-Murray instituted some sort of night-time hypnosis? "You will find Jamie attractive. You will say on camera that Jamie is 'hot.'" Over tape of Kelley possessively tugging on Jamie in a club she says she thinks he's "hiding something." A Jamie voice-over calls Kelley "forbidden fruit." He doesn't want the complexity of the added physical element. I don't write this stuff, people, I just report it. Over tape of the two of them walking down the street and Jamie rubbing his hand up Kelley's side, he admits sometimes it's hard to got bed alone knowing such a beautiful woman is in the house.

Bizarre and suggestive shot of Kelley kneeling in front of Jamie's knees and then kissing one of his fingers. Cute Danny in that damn gray sweater says the house is "sexually charged."

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Real World




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