Real World

Episode Report Card
Stee: C- | 360 USERS: C+
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Jose Locates His Balls

Beach. Water. Driving. FORD! Zach and Tyler. Zach says he's worried about letting people down with the Grand Opening. Tyler says that he's aware of this fact, and that Zach has told him about thirty times. Heh. Dick. Tyler says that he need not be nervous, and that it'll be fine. Then he tells us that the opening will be "absurd" and "humorous." Sort of like Tyler himself.

Water. Key West. Houses. Street. Cars. Salon. SIDEKICK! Jose talks on the SIDEKICK! to a tech who tries to talk him through fixing the broken tanning booths. Heh. What a nonsense fucking business they're running. Jose tells us that he needs to step up. Whatever. The booths are back online. Jose then tells the crew about going to hotels the previous day and offering the "con-sea-airs" (him too!) free tans, some of whom refused the freebie. Janelle is pissed. She camera-brats that Jose stepped on her pedicured toes. Janelle finally speaks the looming truth: "There's a potential for Mystic Tan to be a failure." That should be what's printed on their stupid t-shirts.

Key West. Key West. Other car. Janelle bitches to John about Jose having stepped on her hotel-marketing toes. Wah.

Night. Bar. Tyler's friends are still there. Tyler does the unthinkable: instead of dishing, he spends time complimenting Jose to his friends. He thinks Jose is from the 'hood and turned out so level-headed. Oh, you just like him because he's gayer than you. Tyler tells us that Jose is "deep" and has lots of insight on life. But the true Tyler cannot be tied down for long, and immediately starts dissing Janelle to his friends, saying that Janelle thought "PR" meant "Personal Relations." He laughs like a hyena. It's not that funny. But then Tyler tells us, "Janelle, as pretentious as she is sometimes..." And here you think he's going to say something nice. But no. "...She says really stupid things, periodically." Heee.

Street. Janelle struts down the street to inform Tyler and the friends that they're going to a different bar, and then out dancing.

Other bar. Dancing. Dancing. Jose dances like a fool. Janelle wipes her ass on the counter. Janelle camera-talks, telling us that they have a big day so she's trying to get everyone to hurry home. So now they're walking and Janelle is bratting about how slow everyone is going and Svet is bitching and Paula is bitching and Janelle yells some more (in a ludicrously, like, firing-level-bad edit using a totally different shot and obvious voice-over) and finally Jose snaps and yos, "Can you hold up and wait? We'll walk at our pace and that's it, yo. I'm over you, your shit, yo." Janelle then steps to him and tells him not to talk to her like that. Janelle pushes Jose and Jose tries to avoid her, telling her that she is "nobody" to him. Yikes. The others are trying to calm them down, but it's escalating and Jose is "yo"-ing all over the place and Janelle is raising the two roses she's carrying to him and Jose asks Zach to get Janelle out of his face and her voice is rising and rising and suddenly Jose says that they're all "equals" and she needs to stop walking around with her nose in the air. More fighting. Fighting. Finger-pointing. Flower-waving. Commercials.

Real World

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