Real World
Janelle And Jose's Fight

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Jose Locates His Balls

Statue. Platypus. Rooster. (I'm not kidding.) Alcove off the deck. Poor Katie, Tyler's sweet-faced blonde guest, has to sit with Jose, all high on telling off Janelle. He talks about it. He talks. He talks. He's going to fight fire with fire, he says. He talks about what more mature people might have done. Katie talks about staying out of conflict and how he might have handled it better. Jose pats himself on the back some more. Here's how I know Jose is gay: he's not trying to mack on Katie, drunk in a private alcove.

House. Water. Night. Morning. Fast clouds. House. Leaves. House. Bathroom I've Never Seen. Janelle and Paula. Janelle tells Paula she now thinks Jose is insecure and that's why he yelled at her. As she puts on makeup, Janelle goes on to invent a term I now love and will use as often as I can: she says that Jose used her as an "escape goat" for his insecurity. Escape Goat! Love. Paula doesn't bat an eyelash. Either equally dumb or kind. Janelle camera-talks that people are quick to judge her as being stuck-up, but that she doesn't think it's true. Quick cut to her, amazing body and tiny skirt, finger-waving and doing a fairly good charade clue for "stuck-up." Her speech continues, but I can't listen to it.

Key West. Key West. Street. Streets. Salon. It's Opening Day! A few sad balloons. A few sad customers. Some food from SUBWAY! (C'mon, that's not fair that they get sponsored food to give away for their-- Oh no, look at me all caring and shit. Sorry. As you were.) Tyler struts through the store, past an impressed Bossman Ricky Croft, wearing just a tiny bathing suit. He voice-overs that they're trying to hawk clothes, so they decided to do a little fashion show. Tyler is way more excited about his body than perhaps anyone else there is, but the kid has balls. I know, I can see them. Tyler manages to mention -- in another wretchedly-cut sound drop -- that they also sell SPEEDO! merchandise. Fuckin' B/M whores. Janelle joins him in the modeling, and they go outside and pose against a cop car. Please, arrest them for indecent corporate pimpage. Please. There are seriously about five people at this Grand Opening. It's not very Grand (but funny).

Inside. Another five people, plus some crew members posing as customers. Zach tells us that five dollars of each tan is going towards AIDS. Well, actually, I'm pretty sure the money is going against AIDS. AIDS doesn't need any more money. Zach babbles to us that he'll be happy if the Grand Opening goes well and also they're helping the community of Key West. And hurting AIDS.

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Real World

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