Real World
Joe! Get Off the Phone!

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Alex Richmond: D | Grade It Now!
Joe! Get Off the Phone!

At home, the gang talk about sex, bay-bee. Cyn says she "really likes sex, I really really really really really really really do! But there's a line I've gotta draw!" There's sex stuff she doesn't like to do. Joe says that's a "challenge" and he finds that "attractive." We don't find out what Cyn doesn't like, and I'm grateful for that. I don't need to know what people do in bed. Oh no, Joe's talking about wanting to be a porn star. Melissa says "porno star." Once I tried to make that word in Boggle, it wasn't allowed. By porn star, Joe means "stamina, you know holding it. And it ruined a lot of relationships. Because, you know, I got so good." WHATEVER! Cyn says, "Little Joe, oh yeah, oh yeah." Sparkly sparks fly between their eyes for a bit.

Fish montage. Cyn says, "I just tripped out. We have seven fish." In a cute, TV-shaped fish tank, no less. See? Get it? The fish are in a fishbowl, just like you people are? Oh, never mind. So Dan names the fish, blah blah, the fish all somewhat match the personalities of the roomies, and then, oh no! The fish start dying. Even worse, a big ugly eel (who maybe represents Ick?) comes out from hiding and starts EATING the dead fish. Flora calls the fish guy at 1:30 AM. The guy says, in a perfect combination of tired and grumpy, "This is not a twenty-four-hour service." When he comes in the next day, he lambastes her some more: "Don't let it happen again." He finds that the roomies haven't been feeding the fish enough, so they die and the eel gets hungry and eats the fish. Then Flora says, "So, you must really like fish." The fish guy says no, he used to, but not anymore. Going pro ruined his hobby for him: "I don't even have a fish tank in my house anymore." Flora screeches, "That's so sad!" I hope writing these recaps don't ruin watching TV for me. ["Don't worry, Alex; I've been recapping since 1998 and I have the TV on right now!" -- Wing Chun] Then Dan says they have to start a business (really! Didn't know that!) and that they won't do fish. Or anything, really. It might ruin it for them.

Sunset. The roomies sit around and discuss business ideas. Flora: "Let's baby-sit dogs!" That gets a raspberry. Joe reads off the list, "The video store got nixed, the bagel shop -- I think we'd make a million dollars..." Melissa stupidly says, "We have run the gamut from business A to business Z." Oh boy. Sarah sounds tired as she says, "I'm gung-ho for whatever Joe wants to do. Any day now would be a good day to start a business." They all talk about a juice club. ["Actually, I think it's Juice Club, which is what Jamba Juice used to be called. There was a Jamba Juice right by our office in California and Dave and I each had one a day. If they had opened a Juice Club/Jamba Juice franchise, they would be millionaires right now." -- Wing Chun] Sarah says she "eats smoothies every day." ["See?" -- Wing Chun] They debate the merits of including rice cakes or snacks, then Sarah bursts out, "We should have public restrooms!" Silence, then Flora and Cyn laugh at her. Whatever! Sarah says she's here " to think of the details," and Cyn says Sarah's "not here to make money." Sarah agrees and Cyn says that she DOES want to make money. Well, you need bathrooms! What is all this hoo-hah about? ["I don't know about the U.S., but in Canada, that's the law! If you serve food, you have public washrooms." -- Wing Chun] Sarah says, "People think my ideas are childish or dreamlike, but they don't realize I'm passionate about my ideas." Of bathrooms.

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Real World




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