Real World
John's Got Game

Episode Report Card
Stee: C+ | Grade It Now!

Meanwhile, John dances with a cute blonde named Elena. He finds out her dead-faced friend is named Erin and they do shots, and then suddenly John and Elena are grossly making out. Janelle witness this, and giggles. I witness this, and vomit. Elena's parents witness this, and aren't surprised.

Cab. John tells us that Elena has a slamming body and is looking to party. That almost sounds like a rap song. But with less swearing. And more John. John tells us that, therefore, for the above reasons, he has invited Elena (and friend) home with him. Sound decision.

House. Pier. Elena and John stand on the pier. She is hammered and says that she's a good girl but she's only here for one night so he must be a very special boy. Or, um, he's on the TV! Maybe that has a tiny part to do with it. Honestly, for all the laid these Real World cats gets, you'd think someone out there would get the idea to pay their friend to follow them around to bars with a video crew. (Hey, if you steal my idea and it works, you owe me, like, a percentage of the girl. Or money. Money would probably be better. Subdivides more easily.) Tyler and Janelle are watching from the deck, peeping. "Go John, go!" says Tyler. "Bust a nut." Gross.

House. Svet gets off the phone. Paula wonders if she can use the phone. Svet says not if she's going to call Keith. Paula then camera-thins that it makes her bitter that she has to call Keith ("has to call"?), because she's missing out on some of the fun things going on in the house during the calls. Eh, nothing fun is going on in the house. Svet tries to tell Paula that she understands this situation, and Paula says that she can't possibly, which is why she doesn't talk to anyone about it. Svet says she's seen it in "a funeral" and in a "black eye." Svet says that there are just certain things that are not okay. Svet camera-boobs that she thinks if anyone lays a hand on you, you never speak to them again. She acknowledges, however, that it's much easier to say than to do. Paula looks absolutely lost as Svet tells her that hitting is equal to rape and that Paula has just twisted it around to make it "okay" in her mind. Paula snaps that she doesn't have anyone to go home to -- even parents -- other than Keith. Svet thinks Keith gets power from knowing Paula's alone, and urges he to stop talking to him. "I can't," Paula whispers. Well, then I'm done with you. Wimp.

Night. Key West. Palm trees. House. Pool area. John and Elena make out and cuddle. The girls go into the bathroom and Jose sits with John, wondering if he's finally going to close the deal or not, because he'd like to go to sleep. Lonely Zach watches from the house. Heh. The girls come back, and John suggests that the girls put on some shorts and get in the pool. The girls agree. Elena and John get into the pool and Jose, as he tells us, decides to take "one for the team" and entertain Erin so that John can be alone with Elena. Well, I'm still not sure which team Jose is playing for in the first place, so this is all confusing. It gets more confusing as Jose and Erin come outside again. Erin doesn't want to get in the pool, but then all of a sudden Erin's thong is showing and she's threatening to take off her bra. Jose eggs her on, saying she won't do it, and then looks away. Heh. Of course he does. He's a "gentleman." Like Tennessee Williams was a gentleman. Commercials.

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Real World




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