Real World
John's Got Game

Episode Report Card
Stee: C+ | Grade It Now!

Day. Statue. Sunset. Boats. Clouds. House. Paula talks to Keith. The volcano is starting to erupt and he's yelling that she promised to call him last night and that she's lying to him about a lot of things -- things he says he's found out. She asks what he means, and he says, "Jen." We then see footage from Paula's casting tape: basically, Jen is a girl Paula had a little thing with after the beat-down; Jen is in love with Paula and wants to be with her. Sigh. Back to phone room, where Keith is yelling, "I can't deal with this and you're not helping with your behavior!" Wow. He goes on to say, in the most stupid fucking whiny little voice, "So if you want to take our relationship seriously, you change! You change real fast." And to her credit, Paula stops him and says that he can talk to her, but not like this. He quickly apologizes, saying that he's "a little bit fired up right now." She tells him to "fire down." He whines that she's not putting herself in his position, and that last night "broke" him. What? Not getting to talk to her for one night? He says that he had "problems" last night. Paula cryptically says that he's going deeper into all of his "vices" while she's trying to get better and going to see a counselor. This immediately scares him, and he asks her what she means. She says that she's seeking counseling. The freaky control freak that Keith is doesn't like that, and he yells, "Not down there, babe!" What? She goes on to say that they're both all screwed up, and how can they be good for each other? He says he can't imagine spending his life with someone else, and she says, "no offense," but that with the "way" he is currently, she can't imagine spending her life with him. He says that this isn't who he is; she urges him to be who he is even when she's away, and he yells that he can't be that "strong" all the time. I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. Did it ever occur to one of the segment producers that some cut-ins or voice-overs might help flesh out their conversation here? No? Didn't think so. Keith whines that he's "only human." Barely.

Night. House. Moon. Lights. Motorcycles. Guy sleeping on his motorcycle. House. Paula talks to Svet, saying that Keith can't live without her. Svet says that's not normal. Paula agrees, and, eating the shit out of a salad (good for you!), says that she knows and that's why she told him he needs to get his shit together before they even think of being together. No, she didn't really, but whatever. Svet then asks Paula if it makes her nervous talking to Keith, since she knows she's "doing something wrong" by speaking with him. Confused, Paula asks why she would feel bad. Svet breaks it down: "Because you know this guy could kill you." Paula, who is licking her fork like it's a short Hawaiian girl in a bar, yanks it from her mouth and whines, instantly upset, "Stop saying that." She tells Svet to "drop it," and then says she doesn't care about herself, but that she does care about Keith, even if she shouldn't. Paula then camera-morons that Keith needs her, and that each just wants the other to be happy, and isn't that what love is? No. Love is not being a drunk, idiotic, manipulative, abusive, fuckface with a stupid MySpace page, dumb friends, and a penchant for beating women. Svet tells Paula that she's done talking about it, and now she sees why this has been going on for so long and that she's impossible to get through to. Svet camera-talks that if Paula continues to be with Keith, Svet's going to have to stop being close to her, because she can't stand to see what Paula is doing to herself. Then Paula camera-talks that it's not that easy to change, and that she's mad at Svet. Paula finishes her salad and gets up. Svet's boobs keep her weighted in place.

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Real World




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