Real World
Jose Gets Stranded

Episode Report Card
Lauren S: D+ | Grade It Now!
The Neverending Cycle

Cut to Svet and Janelle on the couch, having a Deep Discussion peppered with so many "like"s that I can't keep track of the actual dialogue. Somehow, Svet apologizes, and instead of apologizing back, Janelle says that it's so big of Svet to have reached this point, because now she'll allow herself to be approachable? I don't know. Svet is wearing the largest watch I've ever seen, and between that and the horrific self-interruptions, I can't focus. Janelle has the gall to voice over that Svet "has been able to acknowledge that everything [Janelle's] done thus far to her has been for a certain reason." Yeah, that you're a bitch seems to be the reason. But after talking and talking and assuring each other of how genuine they really are, they somehow reach an agreement. I think it's bull, but they both seem to have swallowed it, so I'll leave it.

In the kitchen, presumably the next day, Janelle is relaying the conversation to Tyler, in the hope that it will get him to lay off Svet somewhat, so that maybe they can be civil to one another. Suddenly, Svet is sitting in the kitchen across the bar and patronizingly asks whether they should put some spices on the food. Just as suddenly, she's shaking something onto a tray of food as Tyler adds, "You can never have enough basil." I'm not sure Svet really spoke a word during this whole exchange, but you can tell that Tyler thinks he's a very mature individual for his polite handling of her. And by that, of course, I mean his prissy and assy handling.

Then, just as suddenly (I swear, this editing is going to give me seizures if they don't start using transitions), Tyler's staring at John and pursing his lips. When Tyler gets ready to go, John lays into him about leaving dirty dishes, at which point Tyler prissily tries to point out that he's busy getting ready for the event and that John's not helping. Brilliantly, John calls Tyler out for not letting anyone help get ready for this event, because that way, he can take all the credit. Tyler has no answer, but cunningly changes the subject by asking John whether he's still mad about the other night. John loses it; he's yelling at Tyler that he doesn't want to hear his voice. The bad thing is, he doesn't really address any of the issues from the previous night, but I think at this point he's just too overwhelmed with all of the shit Tyler's pulled since they met and it's spewing out uncontrollably. Tyler does that which pushes my own buttons so well, prissily telling John Tyler needs him to explain what he's angry about. Oh, my god, my blood is boiling. Take some responsibility for yourself, you fuckwit. Watching this is going to raise my blood pressure until a vein actually pops out of my skin. Tyler has the nerve to tell John to "leave his bad attitude at home" because "they'd" really like him to come to the function and enjoy himself. John asks, "Oh, since when do you fucking own Mystic Tan?" Tyler actually answers, "We don't..." which I love, since he got so caught up in making it not just about him that he sounds like he's referring to himself like royalty. Because you know no one else would be siding with him in this ridiculous fight. Tyler voices over that he doesn't care about John -- which we all already knew, because John's name isn't Tyler and that is all that Tyler cares about.

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Real World




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