Kyle, CJP, Aneesa, and Keri walk into the apartment and find a bunch of boxes in the lobby. There's an envelope on top addressed to them. Keri grabs it and says that they should wait until everyone is there to open it. Kyle flirts with her about it for a minute. Once they get upstairs, I guess everyone was already there, so they dig into some food (was that what was in the boxes?) and Keri reads the letter aloud. It turns out that this season, they will be working as lifeguards. Everyone screams and jumps around, and I can't really figure out why. I think that lifeguarding sounds pretty boring. You basically just sit in the hot sun and yell at little kids to stop screwing around. Right? Sure, once in a while you might get to swim out and help someone to shore, but rarely. It's not like you solve crises like David Hasselhoff or something. In an interview, CJP says that her first thought was that it would be great to be on a beach all day. In an interview, Theo says that he can sit at the beach and watch the ladies. CJP adds, back in her interview, that after a minute, it started to sink in. Keri continues reading the letter, and announces that they have to report for training, and bring a photo ID and Social Security card, passport, or birth certificate, which is standard for any job. Oh, and they also have to bring a brown bag lunch, but Tonya doesn't create any drama surrounding that, so I kind of skipped over it.
In an interview, Tonya says that, because she was in foster care, she doesn't have a birth certificate or a driver's license. Okay, that's bullshit. She may not have the original copy of her birth certificate, but she lived with her mother until she was twelve, so I have to assume that she at least knows the county in which she was born. I did a two-minute web search and found out that in Washington State (and from doing genealogy research, I know that most states are similar, if she was born elsewhere), it costs between $13 and $24 to get a certified copy of your birth certificate. You can order by mail, phone, fax, or online. So the foster care thing is not an excuse for her not having a birth certificate. And, she doesn't need a birth certificate -- getting a replacement Social Security card is free, and you can do it online. I just refuse to believe that she hasn't had to have one of those things to go to college, get a job, or really do anything official. In other words, I think it's a lot of made-up drama.
So Tonya decides to go to the DMV and just get a driver's license. I have to assume that she thought she could get a government ID, not a license to drive. Tonya walks out and asks the others how to "hail a cab in the big city." Because apparently, in addition to being a slack-jawed yokel, she has also never seen a movie or watched television. Plus, she got a cab earlier in the episode, which I know didn't necessarily happen before this, but I'm on a roll, so go with it. In an interview, Tonya complains that she can't get a license without a birth certificate. So get one! You can order it online! You can get next-day delivery! Tonya complains to Kyle and Keri that she has a Social Security card, so she knows she's legal. Okay, so it just has to be a photo ID. Doesn't she have a student ID from when she was training to be a nurse or whatever? And, as people on the forums pointed out, even before September 11, you needed to show photo ID to board a plane. She's just so...frustrating. In an interview, Tonya claims that this whole incident has further served to set her apart from her roommates. Because she wants it to.