Landon tells us that he's single, he knows he's single and Shavonda knows he's single, but that his bringing a girl home was still mean to Shavonda because it made her feel "less important than she is." Immediately we cut to Shavonda and Landon in bed together, snuggling, because Shavonda has issues. Look, in theory I could recap this scene, where Landon tells Shavonda he didn't have sex with McKenzie, and Shavonda tells us she's relieved to find out there was just kissing and licking and sucking instead of, whatever she thinks is some kind of sacred act. But the problem is that Landon is wearing green striped underpants and not much else and he's sporting some serious wood. I have the smallest television of anyone I know, and my neighbors called to complain about the indecency. My cat ran across the room, terrified. My coffee cup knocked over, spilling everything. My right eye? Poked out. Landon's enormous boner has taken over my living room. It is chaos. The green stripes! The outline of both the...cue and the...balls. I can see his balls, okay? And I don't want to. And it's not just because I've paused my TiVo, okay? This would have happened no matter how slow my slow-mo go, okay? I don't have the problem. Landon's huge boner has the problem. He's going on my list of people to sue one day for emotional pain and suffering. Right underneath Vincent Gallo. Shavonda tells us this grammatically-challenged sentence: "I can tell myself until the cows come home that I don't like Landon, that I would never be with him, but, in the end, you know, my emotions caught up with me and kicked me in my ass and was like, 'You're bullshit.'" Outside, I hear Landon's boner overturn my car.

"Willie's friend" Victor accidentally calls MJ "Landon." I don't know why that's important, other than that Melanie confesses that she does this, too, and considering that this is day three of their last day in the house, it's a bit of a dis. They are at "Fat Tuesday," a fake "Fat Tuesdays," which is a fake Mardi Gras, which is...well, sad. Willie has his foot propped up on the bar, this Mardi Gras-themed bar where people probably get beads and flash tits for drink discounts, announcing that he has something very serious to discuss. Willie needs some instruction on "time" and how it relates to "place." It is quite serious, actually, that his mother has told his little brothers that his soul will burn in Hell on account of his being gay. Now, this is sad, and I know he needs his friends to comfort him, but it's almost time for everyone to do Jell-O shots off a stripper's thong crack, so if he could hurry that up, MJ would feel a little less forced-gay. MJ keeps calling it "The Gay World," like he thinks any minute now a producer will come from around the camera and apologize for accidentally putting him on the wrong show. I don't watch this show, so I don't know what southern state MJ is from, but homeboy's got an incest face like I haven't seen in a long time.