Real World
Landon's Huge Boner

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
"I Wanna Be the Girl In the Hot Tub"

Landon says that he was being honest with Shavonda, saying he doesn't think they should be having sex. He tells us that he doesn't regret anything with Shavonda. He feels the need to repeat that, so we know that he actually does. "I think things would have been easier on her if I would have [sic] stuck to my guns and said, like, we weren't going to do anything after Fiji." Is that like second base, Fiji? First you French kiss, then you go to Fiji. Landon tells us the truth isn't working. We see him hit himself in the head with an empty Aquafina Bottle of Sexual Innuendo. MJ suggests the brilliant idea of Landon bringing home another girl. Landon somehow thinks this is the best solution to his problem of girlies on his jock. It turned colder, that's when it ends...

Baseball? Softball? I thought they were packing and leaving. This is a longer day than Ferris Bueller's. Landon makes a Very Important Nokia/Nextel Phone Call to ask a girl named McKenzie for a last-minute booty call. So I told her, we'd still be friends...

McKenzie, surprisingly, agrees to be on this television show. Landon tells us that McKenzie is "sweet, nice, caring, and cute." Because they go way back and are clearly best buds, McKenzie asks Landon what his major is. Landon tells her, "My major is Landscape Architecture..." but he says it in such a way you know he doesn't even believe that anymore. It's like when I say, "I'm thinking of running a marathon." McKenzie apparently has all the qualities Landon looks for in a girl. Those four qualities. I think that means Landon's perfect girl is Smurfette. Landon tells McKenzie he's a seventh-year senior. And the bait is set for some lovin'. There's nothing sweeter than the confessions of a drunk-ass slacker. Mmm. That's some good datin'.

Shavonda -- who loves anything that beings with the letter "D" and ends with "Rama" -- decides to pick a fight with her sort-of-ex/kind-of-not boyfriend. Shavonda clearly wants to know what Shaun is doing with some Melissa girl, but only so that it gives her permission to do as much, if not more, with Landon. Shavonda makes it sound like she's a Survivor and doesn't need no mans, but really she wants to make sure she's going to have a boyfriend when she leaves her fuck buddy.

Landon brings home McKenzie. Everybody pretends they care. Landon mostly wants to make sure Shavonda sees his date, so he inquires as to her location and then brings McKenzie there, even though Shavonda is clearly on the phone. Shavonda sighs a disappointed sigh to us, saying she thought he was coming home by himself. Landon seems surprised that Shavonda didn't immediately pour beer on the bitch's weave. He surmises, "I don't know. It seems like kind of a front." Dick.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Next

Real World

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP