Real World
Landon's Huge Boner

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
"I Wanna Be the Girl In the Hot Tub"

Ah, the note. That all-important part of post hook-up regret. The way you say, "I'm not all that serious about you" without ever having to say anything at all. A way to say "I love you" without having to say it. "What? I wrote it down." Who doesn't own a poorly-chosen Hallmark card with a kitten or perhaps a weird poem on the front that sounds like your recent ex was apologizing for domestic violence instead of regretting his/her recent venture into total assholitry? Please notice all the other cards on Landon's desk, and how Shavonda isn't the only one who's receiving a "Dear Blank" message from Landon on Day 4 of their last day there. In case you're lost, the music informs us that this scene is about someone giving another a note. Shavonda opens the card, and due to the wonders of TiVo (even though I'm recapping with only the one eye now), I can tell you everything Landon tried to say. The front of the card reminds us to "Dwell in possibility...-- Emily Dickinson." This is an interesting way to say "Dream on, Summer Fling." Shavonda reads the letter to us, but here it is transcribed: "There are many things in life that are not spelled out for us. More here than others. This is what life is all about. Everyone is met with situations -- it is a person's character that truly defines who they are. I believe in you that you will make all the correct choices for you and will be happy for yourself. I will always love you and be there for you! Love, Landon." Dude. That is a break-up, kiss-off, don't-ever-call-me, go-back-to-your-boyfriend, I'm-going-to-pretend- I-don't-know-you-once- MTV-stops-paying-us- to-hook-up letter if I've ever seen one. I suppose I've never seen one before, but I know what it looks like when I see it.

Shavonda comes downstairs to thank Landon for her note. He's playing pool with himself. Get it, Shavonda? He's going to play pool with himself. Forever. Shavonda calls him the "sweetest guy ever," and pushes her face into his chest so that he must hug her. Shavonda tells us she feels fortunate to have met someone from across the country when she was thrown into this situation and -- oh, whatever. Cut to Shavonda and Landon showering together. Hint of boob. Showering, cuddling, boring. Shavonda tries on her best orgasm face while Landon washes her hair. Shavonda let Landon wash her hair. Maybe she is in love, y'all.

This is a long-ass half-hour. Hey, I've finally found something that's sadder than recapping for six years straight. It's called being Dan on The Inferno 2. Holy crap.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Next

Real World

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP