Real World
Landon's Huge Boner

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Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
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"I Wanna Be the Girl In the Hot Tub"

Landon tells us that saying goodbye to Melanie was "way, way too hard." He doesn't know what he's going to say to Shavonda when their time is up. Are they making them run to a confessional every time someone leaves the house?

Karamo's boyfriend Ed reaches the apartment. They play menacing music, like Ed's going to kill Karamo once they reach the cab. The show totally doesn't care what happens to Karamo, and doesn't even have the decency to follow him to the airport. Karamo's like, "I'm hoping things are okay with Ed, even though it's going to be long-distance, but I really had a great time here, even though I still kind of hate white people, most of them anyway, and I just wanted to --[Subway doors close]"

Willie and Sarah are summoned next. Willie's going home to New York, and Sarah's going to visit her shitty sister. Sarah cries, waves, cries, does thirty minutes on a Precor, cries, blames her mom for making her have to leave right now, cuts her skirt a little shorter, hooks up with three guys, blames MJ for not being straight with her, cries, pukes, yells, forgets what she was crying about, cries because she hates how much she forgets things all the time because her mom makes her feel so fat and cancer. Shavonda pretends to cry along with Sarah's fake tears, but she can't muster even the slightest fake tear, since she's having to use them all up on her fake relationship with Landon. Sarah tells us that she fell in love with these six "awesome" people. She says she knows they're going to come off as asses on this show: "But I love these asses. I do." Aw, we love your ass, too, Sarah. And it's not big, no matter what your mama tells you. Go get your crazy ass some more booze.

MJ kisses Willie on the cheekbone as Willie tells us that MJ has come pretty far from his total homophobia to random spurts of homophobia. Willie and MJ tell each other how much they've learned from one another. Sarah's falsies, then Sarah, then Willie get on the bus. Shavonda cries now, but it's only because she thinks it looks really cool to do so when the wind is blowing on her hair like that. Sarah and Willie have gone a few miles before Sarah admits, "Those pancakes were pretty terrible." Ha. "They were," Willie says. Then he brags, "MJ gave me a kiss." He smiles, happy that he's...I don't know that he's done anything, but whatever makes Willie smile is just fine. We hardly knew ye, Willie. Thanks for barely making a difference in this insufferable television show. Not making a scene means you weren't an asshole, and that's a huge accomplishment here.

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Real World

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