Real World
Las Vegas Strip

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Las Vegas Strip

In the "Tonight on The Real World" segment, we are introduced to the seven roommates. In case you missed the preview episode last week, here they are again. Steven, twenty-three, is from San Marcos, Texas and is a straight man who works in a gay bar. Trishelle, twenty-two, is from Cutoff, Louisiana. She thinks the good thing about coming from a small town is that you get creative about what you do in your spare time (masturbation). Oops, that was an aside from Subliminal Kim. Irulan, twenty-one, is from the Bronx. She has a boyfriend named Gabe, but they have an open relationship. Alton, twenty-two, from San Diego, California plays the violin and likes outdoorsy activities. Frank, twenty-two, is from central Pennsylvania and is in the process of applying to graduate schools. Frank informs us that he won't get accepted to Cornell because he's a loser. Frank has self-esteem issues. If he didn't get accepted at, like, Central Pennsylvania Community College or something, then he's a loser. Cornell? Not so much. Arissa, twenty-two, is from Boston. She couldn't wait to get out of the Projects, and doesn't plan to return. Brynn, twenty-one, from Portland, Oregon, gets brave when she's drunk and hooks up with men. That takes courage? Brynn also breakdances. I kind of hate her already.

The credits are the standard fare, but this season they have been "picked to live in a casino." Bitches.

Trishelle sits on a curb at a motel just outside Las Vegas. She's all Elisabeth Shue, waiting for Nicolas Cage to die an alcoholic death. Did I just call Trishelle a whore? Well, if the leopard-skin leggings and platform shoes fit. In an interview, Trishelle says that, golly, she hasn't ever been away from Cutoff, and heck, she heard that Las Vegas is called Sin City, so that must mean they have a lot of sin there. Trishelle is clearly not the brightest bulb on the Strip.

Steven rides alone in the back of a limo. In an interview, Steven says that sex is important to him, and that beautiful women are his weakness. Unlike most men, who absolutely hate beautiful women. Not. And yet most of them manage to keep it in their pants. I hate Steven already. Steven's limo stops and picks up Trishelle. They are happy to see each other, and introductions are exchanged. In an interview, Trishelle says that she's excited to meet new men because she's been seeing the same ones for the past five years. As someone who comes from a small town, I understand what she means. Sort of. Trishelle voice-overs that she's attracted to men who are romantic and nice, but not too nice, and that sex isn't that important to her. Until she gets a few drinks in her, and then she's attracted to men who have penises. Penii? ["The word is 'penes,' but I only know that because Sars told me. How does she know? You'd have to ask her." -- Wing Chun] Anyway.

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Real World

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