Outside, Tyler has giant sheets of Styrofoam. As John goes to get twine, Tyler balances all the sheets of Styrofoam on the top of the FORD! Fitch or someone thinks it's not going to work. Tyler insists it will. Suddenly, a big gust of wind comes and blows one of the sheets of Styrofoam away. Then another. Another. They start breaking and just ripping and flying all across the parking lot. Everyone is laughing. "Hurricane Home Depot," Tyler jokes. The suits at Home Depot immediately contact the National Weather Service, wondering if they can actually sponsor a hurricane so that Hurricane Home Depot is its official name. Hey, it worked for the bowl games. They'll get back to them.
Tree. Water. Statue. House. John and whoever work on the float, hammering wood (heh). John tells us that the concept for the float is a fabricated Mystic Tan booth. Tyler takes it a little gayer, saying that the "theme" of the float is "A Mystic Forest" and that he's going with a whole "Shakespearean" thing.
And where else to get poorly-designed and -thought-out "Shakespearean" baubles, but PIER 1! Tyler goes there. We cut back and forth between John and friend doing macho construction, and Tyler and friend buying frou-frou crap, dodging the giant ghost of Kirstie Alley. John makes a hurricane joke. Tyler jokes that for as straight as John is, he thinks it's funny that his main job is to make a very gay float.
House. Tyler sticks leaves into Styrofoam. John and Paula like how it looks. John plays the guitar. The phone rings. Paula gets it. It's a snotty-sounding Svet. Paula babbles to us that it must be hard to lose a parent. Paula needs a ride from the airport. Wow, what an exciting scene that was. Maybe next they could show us a print-out of Paula's Travelocity page.
Twinkley music. Photos of Svet and Martin. Paula paints something for the float. John reads about a new hurricane (Wilma) in the gulf. They joke about hurricane names. Hacks! Get some new material. (But still hew close to the essence of what happened.) Commercials.
The scummiest gym of all time. Janelle and John and Zach and Jose work out, lifting dangerous weights as "cute" music plays with the lyrics, "Well I've been heading out to the gym every day. Been working out for a while. I'm in such great shape." Oh, lord. More working out. More acquiring of diseases from the equipment. In the FORD! afterwards, sweaty Janelle brats that she can't wait to get out of her clothes, and John offers to take her pants off her for. He then laughs, smiling proudly like he shit in the bowl for the first time. They have a bad, flirty conversation about sweaty-clothes-removal and it's very boring. Janelle camera-snots that John is coming from a sexual perspective and making it clear that he'd like to get physical, but she doesn't need a guy right now. "Sorry," she tells us. "No."