Real World

Episode Report Card
Manimal: D | 225 USERS: C+
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Like a Virgin

The gang sits around and grills Julie like a cheese sandwich about her date. Now we get little flashbacks. Le Grand Fromage, as I like to call her date, meets-and-greets with Norman and compliments him on his art. Noman's one-on-one. He says, "Uh, Stockwell's a big guy," and goes on to say how he's a painter as well, and Norman felt a little threatened by him -- maybe because of the painter thing, or the guy thing, or because he was dating Norman's roommate.

Back to the grill session. Andre asks Julie what she ate at Lox Around the Clock. She says chicken and some other items and some kind of "pea or bean." Andre asks, "How was the conversation?" and Julie says, straight-faced, "Stimulating."

Flashback to Julie and Le Grand Fromage at Lox Around the Clock. She looks less than stimulated. Like, almost comatose. LGF reaches over to massage her shoulder and arm. Julie gives him the hairy eyeball and asks what he's doing. He says, "Checking for muscle content," and proceeds to tell her she has a sturdy frame. Julie sort of rolls her eyes and comments that she also has wide hips, so she'd be good for breeding. LGF chuckles. Then he checks out her hips and says she doesn't have sturdy hips. Then he makes her high-five him. Then he tells her she has a good tape collection and something else stupid that he obviously thinks is wildly flattering, and asks her if she wants to get married. Let me just say that this is the worst date I've ever seen or heard about. It may even top the date my friend Susan went on with the guy who showed her pictures of his three kids -- all by different women.

Back to the grill session. Norman remarks dryly that she's found quite a prize. Heather and Norman speculate how old LGF is. They say older than thirty-one or younger than forty-one. Julie squawks, "You guys are driving me crazy!"

Back to the date. LGF murmurs to Julie, "You have a tremendous capacity for someone nineteen years old." Yes -- a tremendous capacity for bile, going by how long Julie's been able not to throw up on his shoes. Julie tells him, "You're obsessed with that." LGF says, "Would you call me Dad?" and then starts cackling. Julie looks appalled and tries to keep eating, looking away and ha-ha-ing uncomfortably. Jesus! Why the hell didn't Bunim-Murray send her on this date with a taser gun? This guy should be put down as quickly as possible!

Real World

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